Songs By Angsty Tween Pop Stars That Are Actually Quite Good: Miley Cyrus is a “Robot”

OMFGBBQ IT’S MILEY.

Ever since Madame Cyrus decided to spread her wings and take flight like a mighty (slutty) blue-footed booby, the hits just WON’T. STOP. COMING.

Case in point: “Robot,” one of the best songs from the young singer’s otherwise spotty album, Can’t Be Tamed. (Oh, right…here’s your album review: Love the bangers. Avoid the ballads. 3/5.)

“Robot” is delicious because it is (A) about being a robot made up of foreign parts and being stuck in the great machine that is the music industry which (B) is quite the popular thing to do these days in the age of ‘robot culture’ in pop what with Lady Gaga and Robyn and all which (C) is sung with the fervor of a Kelly Clarkson breakup song but (D) is essentially just a Lindsay Lohan track about ‘letting me live’ and doing the things I want to do and (E) is therefore wrought with irony as a major pop production with major pop producers and a mega pop superstar on a major label release which (F) is a bit like the idea behind Britney Spears‘ “Overprotected” or “Lucky” but (G) is sung by someone who doesn’t merit such a comparison so let’s not even go there.

In conclusion: EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SONG IS 100% AMAZING.

Thank you for your time.

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