Tonight, Scherzy Baby performed her debut latest solo single, “Poison,” on the X Factor results show. (WATCH)
The good:
+ “NICOLEEEEE!” The lowering into the jail cell/radiation center/live human experiment laboratory was a nice touch to kick off the performance.
+ The singing was pretty loyal to the actual recording–which involves a lot of screeching and shouting. She nailed that part.
+ The shiny black overcoat-disrobe-to-superhero costume. Nice one. Nice.
+ The first dance breakdown at 3:30. Very tight, like a proper Chezza dance breakdown.
The bad:
+ The hair. It continues to be a problem, carried over from the unfortunate accompanying music video.
+ The second dance breakdown at 4:30. WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN FILED UNDER GOOD, except for all the goddamn lights all over the place. I couldn’t see shit! But I imagine it was fierce in person.
+ The song. I’ve tired of it quickly, although it’s still okay for me when I’m getting ‘pumped up’ to go out, which means it’s good for me approximately one hour out of the week in total.
The hilarious:
+ The video introduction, featuring mind-blowing statistics about The Pussycat Dolls sales and literally nothing about prior solo attempts including “Whatever U Like,” “Baby Love,” or the legendary “Puakenikeni.”
“That was my first solo performance and my first time ever performing this song in front of anyone,” she half-lied to Dermot, acting really weird and shy after her performance.
But a third (fourth?) time’s a charm: “Poison” currently rests at #3 on the iTunes UK Singles Chart and, as far as I know, has been floating in between the Top 10 all day now. Looks like she’s almost destined to nab a Top 20 position on the charts next week in the UK!
Congrats, Scherzybuns–you might just have a hit yet! But know this: It’s no “Whatever U Like.”