STAWP EVERYTHING.
By now you’ll know that here at MuuMuse, we stan quite hard for anything of the musical variety that stems from any of the Real Housewives series on Bravo TV.
Danielle Staub‘s “Real Close”? Life-affirming! Countess LuAnn‘s “Chic C’est La Vie”? Getting the lyrics tattooed on my chest next Tuesday! Kim Zolciak‘s “Google Me”? I literally liked it so much that she blocked me on Twitter! (Please note: This actually happened.)
Joining the hallowed ranks of such other esteemed flopettes, The Real Housewives of New Jersey‘s Kween Melissa Gorga has finally unveiled her long awaited, much anticipated debut dance single: “On Display.”
Now obviously because of my sworn blood allegience to Team Giudice, it’s hard for me to seriously take into consideration an offering from the Gorgas. (HOAHS!) However, since we’re all FAMBUHLY here, I know that Princess Teresa won’t be too pressed if I give her sister-in-law a few seconds in the spotlight, right? Like…right, T?
Oh. Erm, well then…
Produced by Soul Diggazz, “On Display” comes equipped with a handful of slay-worthy hooks, squeaky club synthesizers (probably the best production on a Housewives song thus far) and of course, a hefty helping of Auto-Tune indulgence.
But what’s it all about? What else, you fool?! The GODDAMN HATERS. “Everybody wanna see me fall / Everybody wanna bring me down / Everybody wanna steal my crown / But it’s not going down,” Gorgamazing bravely counters during the song’s chorus.
And don’t forget all the paparazzi too! I mean, they’re just everywhere! Hiding out in the bushes at the Brownstone House waiting for her to choke on her eggplant parmigiana, trying to sneak into flawless diva-niece Gia’s gymnastics competitions, implanting monitoring chips into Kim G‘s ancient pea-sized brain…just EVERYWHERE!
Ugh. As always, only Lohan gets it: WHY WON’T THEY JUST LET HER LIVE?!
“On Display” is as effortless and free of flaw as its stunning chanteuse, so you can just stay s-sippin’ on that Haterade, haters.
And if you think the original’s good, go ahead and have a listen to the official remix, which kind of makes me want to get all Joe Gorga and spill my poison all OVUH that dance floor. I mean, I want to get seriously BIBLICAL up in this bitch! (Praise Jesus.)
Wait–is it the Baby Jesus’ birthday today? I forget–he’s only 89 years old after all, but you can bet your sweet ass that the Baby J will be bumpin’ this joint up in his manger all night long.
“On Display” will be released on August 13. (iTunes)