As the days creep closer to the September 12 premiere date of The X Factor, FOX has already begun flexing their hype muscles by giving us all a taste of what’s to come from the initial audition episodes this week. Okay, wait, let’s talk truth tea here: They’re giving us all the GODNEY they’ve got, ’cause they know that’s all we actually want. (MOAH!)
Just yesterday (REFERENCE), the official X Factor YouTube account premiered an appropriately dramatic/legendary promo featuring Brit, Demi, Simon and L.A. striding into the arena like victorious gladiators, spliced in between clips of people passing out on stretchers and shaking and crying backstage. (They could have just asked me for footage of myself at the Femme Fatale Tour, but…you know. It’s fine.)
The clip also gives us a sneak peek at some of their critiques. Naturally, B stans have already read/heard all of them before, including “You’re hot!” and “I want to know who let you onstage.” Still, it is nothing less than a blessing from the Spearit to see them onscreen.
But that’s not the real promo that the world needs to know about. Far from it! Two days ago, a brief 16-second tease played during the MLB All Star Game highlighting Brit Brit’s judging prowess–specifically, the shade of it all.
Watch above as Britney breaks out the 2007 Blackout umbrella (figuratively speaking), providing enough shade for anyone walking within a 500-mile radius. Choice life-ruining moments include:
+ THE SPEARIT FINGER WAVE.
The most important new dance move to be added to the Spears oeuvre since the “Till The World Ends” tiny clap.
+ “You can’t destroy that song, sweetie.”
The new “You’re Fired” of reality television.
+ “You definitely don’t have the X Factor.”
This isn’t Godney interacting with some random contestant. Luckily, the original footage has been restored:
VIVA LA SHADENEY.