HARK! THE ALOUD ANGELS SING.
Today, as with every day, we bow down and give thanks to our five almighty makers of song: Nadine, Nicola, Kimberley, Sarah and Cheryl–known collectively as Girls Aloud, for providing us with 10 solid years of killer tunes, flaw-free visuals, sky-high stilettos and bum notes aplenty.
Yet today is unlike every day. Nay, something far more ooooh has occurred.
Today, the Almighty Aloud regrouped for the first time since late 2009 to announce a slew of happenings for the next few months in honor of 10 Years of the Almighty Aloud’s reign.
Take a deep breath underwater and keep control of the knife, because here we go…
The Aloud in 2012. Reunited. Baby, this is real life.
The girls got together in London today to announce the release of Ten, their latest greatest hits package featuring not one, not two, but FOUR new songs: “Something New,” “On The Metro,” “Beautiful Cause You Love Me,” and “Every Now And Then.”
Above is the full press conference, in which the Aloud field questions from journalists and fans alike, and generally remain quite Aloud-y and perfect.
The new hits album will be released as a single CD, a Deluxe 2CD, or–as I’ve already opted to pre-order–the Excluusive limited edition box set, which includes art prints, The Passions of Girls Aloud on DVD (!), and a golden ticket to win one of ten prizes.
And frankly, every prize sounds like the ultimate must-have item. Um, a glittery stiletto once worn on Queen Nuhdeen’s blessed Irish foot? A phone call from Nicola whilst she prances around her apartment in Comme des Garcons, dancing to the beat of her drum? A FOLLOW FROM THE @GIRLSALOUD HANDLE?! No one is worthy.
+ A triple platinum personalised Out Of Control presentation disc
+ A pair of shoes worn by one of the girls in the Something New video
+ A signed, personalised art print of the album sleeve for Ten
+ A phone call from one of the girls
+ @GirlsAloud will follow you on Twitter
+ Tickets plus a meet and greet with the girls at a forthcoming tour date of your choice
+ A piece of clothing from the Girls Aloud archive
+ The complete Girls Aloud back catalogue, signed
+ A signed, personalised and framed photo of the girls
+ A triple platinum personalised Sound Of The Underground presentation disc
But that’s far from all: Along with the iconic prizes, the girls are allowing us lessers to decide on the second disc of the album. After selecting their own favorites, the Aloud are asking fans to vote now on their 10 favorite songs to include on the companion disc–B-sides, live performances, anything–and the best of the best will make the album. A winning song will be announced day by day, beginning on Monday.
Just let it be known now: Every Aloud song is a blessing of course, but “Memory Of You” and “Graffiti My Soul” better get thrown into the mix, or there’s going to be blackjacks running down someone’s back in a hot second. (From the looks of the leaderboard, I’m not worried.)
Above is the single art for “Something New,” which will be released on November 18 as the official Children In Need single. And if you look closely, you’ll notice that it is, in fact, perfection.
Also, the gayrls are going on TURR! That’s right: The ladies will officially be traveling across the UK on a tour to support Ten beginning in February through March. Check the tour dates for that now, as pre-orders begin on Wednesday, October 24. (I’m already booking my flight.)
And finally–as if we could handle more–there’s the video for “Something New.” That’s right: GIRLS ON FILM.
We don’t need to say that the Ray Kay-directed video is flawless…
Or that Kimba’s assets just brought the entire population of the United Kingdom down to its knees…
Or that baby Nicola’s twerking just caused Beyonce to call an emergency meeting with Jonte…
Or that Sarah just snatched the wig right off of Katniss, the Girl Who Was On Fire…
Or that Cheryl’s jiggling just rendered The Saturdays irrelevant…
Or that Nuhdeen’s homicidal gaze–her best work since “Unsayshuhbull”–could startle Little Mix into retirement…
…but now we said it (aloud.)
A perfect campaign has officially begun.
LONG LIVE THE ALMIGHTY ALOUD.
