The Holy Spearit waits for no mortal man.
Accordingly, the video for the objectively terrible “Scream & Shout (Remix)” featuring Diddy, will.i.am, Lil Wayne, Wocka Flocka Flame & Hit-Boy (collectively known as GOOF, or Gaggle of Old Fools) leaked a bit early yesterday during the celebration of St. Valentine on a China-based video streaming site. (No doubt her way of blessing the lonely souls on Valentine’s Day–praise her light.)
The video for the “Scream & Shout” remix is as embarrassing as the garbage audio, all thanks to the GOOF’s involvement. Really though, have you ever seen a crew of such awful, arrogant ass-hats? Those video hos behind will.i.am–who wants that? Who needed that? Why? WHY. Lil Wayne’s bit is good. Fine, sure. But Diddy? Stop. Stop all of that. Whatta Focka Flame? Really? A goddamn flailing fool. Embarrassed on your behalf, bbs!
However, Godney is not embarrassing: In fact, she is ferocious–a flaw-free, iconic hood bitch who we haven’t fully seen since the perilous days of “Outrageous.” (We don’t talk about what happened. STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.)
Suited up in her custom Jeremy Scott Adidas jacket, as well as an iconic black Hot Topic-meets-The Girl Who Was On Fire future-gothcore get-up, Urbanney is out in full force: Shoulder-shimmying, hip swiveling, side-eyeing–and most of all, engaging in copious amounts of pony play. (NOT LIKE THAT.)
Whether an ode to Ginuwine‘s “Pony” (a very urban thing to do), or perhaps a subtle nod to our fallen “Radar” friend, Mr. Neighdar, Queen B’s Iggy Azealea-esque long, blonde pony was made for whippin’, and that’s just what legends do.
And in case you’re feeling just a little bit unsure about all this–whether it’s the awful song, the $19.95 video budget or the involvement of will.i.cant, just remember: “Scream & Shout” isn’t Brit’s song/video! It’s just this dumb thing she’s featured on for 3 seconds that’s hit #1 in like, every music market across the globe–a successful mess leading to bonus exposure while she happily records Album 8, tentatively titled Blackout 2.0: It Gets Urban-er.
While we wait for the real shit, let’s all enjoy while Brit Brit gets a little…Ratchetney.
LEARN THE MOVES.
The “Roll Call,” also known as the “Your Faves Could Quite Literally Never Pony-Up.”
The “Hot As Ice, Ice Baby.”
The “Whiplash.”
The “Urban Tiny Claps,” otherwise known as “Till The World Ends (will.i.am Remix).”
The “Baby, Shut Your Mouth and Churn Me Inside Out.”
The “Fierce as FUQ,” also known as “Am I Too Hot 4 U Tho?”
The “Haute Coutureney.”
The “Screaming, Shouting and Let It All Out-ing.” (And a subtle nod to “Hold It Against Me”?)
The “Here A Flip, There A Flip, Everywhere A Brit Flip.”
The “It’s Britney, Bitch,” otherwise known as “The Femme Fatality.”
The “Ole Eyes On B In The Center of the Urban Ring,” also known as “She’ll Never Bay May.”
The “My Neck, My Back…My Pussy’s Hanging Out!”
The “Make it Rain Like The Encore of the Dream Within A Dream Tour,” also known as the “I got paid $15 million to make funny faces on live TV for a few weeks, and now I’m closing on a multimillion dollar Vegas deal. Any questions?”
Watch the video below.
“Scream & Shout (Remix)” was released on January 29. (iTunes)
