Let the record show: Cheryl Tweedy Cole Fernandez-Versini Just Cheryl simply does not care.
With her second serving from her forthcoming fourth studio album Only Human (an album title that sounds like an apology in advance), Mrs. Fernandez-Versini is making it clear to all the basic bitches in the building that while she might own many wonderful things, a fuck is certainly not one of them. Phuckless!
How much does she not care? Let us count the ways.
Cheryl had a whole lot of people help to write the song, ’cause she don’t care.
The song was co-written by a bunch o’ talented folks who, very likely, have many more fucks to give than Chezza, including the masterful pop songwriter herself Bonnie McKee of “Teenage Dream” legend, Joakim Åhlund, older brother to Robyn hit-maker Klas Åhlund and soul-pop powerhouse John Newman. (And, of course, Cheryl herself.) How they all got into a room together? One may never know…OR CARE.
Cheryl’s got swears, ’cause she don’t care.
The feisty Girls Aloud punk rock spirit is ALIVE AND WELL in this one: “I don’t care, and it feels so fucking good to say I swear…that I don’t care!” #PhuckYourRadio #AlthoughThereIsACensoredVersionAvailable
Also, the opening line: “Waking up diagonal like an animal in a cold and empty bed.” That’s a good one — dare I say, Aloud-esque? NOT THAT CHERYL CARES.
Cheryl’s got a bit of a basic beat, ’cause she don’t care.
As is apparently The Thing To Do in this most interesting Only Human era, the song sounds a little bit like a demo. Mercifully though, it’s vastly more alive-sounding than the horn-heavy fart fest that was “Crazy Stupid Love”.
There’s a chunky, sort of ’80’ synth-pop kick to the song’s stomping pulse, as well as some space-age Kylie Minogue elements, especially on that heavenly bridge. The verses are nice and slick and #cool, and the chorus is a shout-along ‘chant’ for all the fellow fucks-free folks, with just the slightest hint of a twang (“OHH-oh-oh-oh, I don’t care….aw nawwww!“). British Queen Of Country.
Sure, it’s not quite as much of a dance floor stormer as “Call My Name” or “Promise This,” but in case you’re not already following along, she doesn’t care.
Whether you love it, hate it or feel largely indifferent, she don’t care. It’s going to #1, regardless.
“I Don’t Care” will be released on November 9. (iTunes UK)