LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (Dallas, TX) — GRAMMY® Award-winning singer, undisputed Queen Of Country and winner of People Magazine‘s Most Likely To Be The Only Worthwhile Part Of Watching This Season Of Nashville Legendtina Christina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera performed during this evening’s ACM Awards, which most critics are now dubbing the All Christina Music Awards [citation needed].
The “Let There Be Love” LGBT icon was joined onstage by a group of contest winners named Rascal Flatts, a local cover band selected to perform alongside the Back To Basics singer-songstress after entering a YouTube talent competition.
The performance of the night, deemed “literally, I’m slayed” by the award show’s Milestone Award winner Taylor Swift, began with an emotional montage of vintage postcards flashing across the screen depicting empty fields and serene lakes, which the “Your Body” singer confirms Excluusively to the LNN are actually teasers of the venues she’ll be visiting on the upcoming Bionic-Lotus Nashville Experience World Tour.
“Shotgun,” a new song to be featured in this week’s episode of Nashville, is all about enduring the trials and tribulations of love…or at least, so we thought.
When you’re tired, I’ll grab the wheel/You take over when I’m done/Love is taking turns…riding shotgun.
“Oh, that ‘Shotgun’ song?” Her Legend said regarding the song’s meaning. “That one’s actually a little ahead-of-its-time. It’s an anthem for all those unbreakable cowboys out there who know how to saddle up and be the bucking bronco, if you catch my drift. Just ask Pharrell. HA!”
“Shotgun” is now also being rumored to be used the theme song of the forthcoming Legend X Productions film, Brokeback Mountain 2: Broke Harder, co-starring Nick Jonas and One Direction‘s Harry Styles.
Later on, the Lotus diva was greeted by another member of the Rascal Flatts to perform a duet to the troupe’s song “Riot,” which she happily made relevant for the audience watching at home by belting a superior rendition of the unknown tune while standing at her signature Bionic era promotional anal bead mic stand.
“I’m not familiar with the music of the Rascal Jacks, so I just made it up on the spot,” she shrugged. “It worked.”
The singer’s emotional ode to #vers sex, coupled with the usage of the red lip anal bead mic stand, almost surely ensures the subversive Queen Of Country-Pop a future win at the GLAAD Media Awards.
“It’s about time we made the country community…open up a little bit,” she smirked, gleefully running her hands over the mic stand. “Now…where’s Blake Shelton?”
