MuuTunes: The Best Songs of March 2016

Listen to these songs. Or don’t! What do I care? I’m not fighting you on this.

It’s mid-March and things are hitting up (quite literally — global warming isn’t all that bad, as it turns out), which means it’s time to talk about some of the good, very good and legitimately incredible songs of March 2016. Listen on Apple Music and Spotify.

First, the pop heavyweights: Ariana Grande‘s “Dangerous Woman” is sultry, in a The Weeknd “Earned It” kind of way, and Zayn Malik Just Zayn’s “LIKE I WOULD” is caps lock SEXY, in a The Weeknd “Can’t Feel My Face” kind of way. Gwen Stefani‘s “Misery” is solid too, but…look: I’m really happy for her and Blake Shelton, the First Celebrity Couple to Ever Date if you’ve somehow missed all the headlines (watch them exchange prolonged glances from afar! watch them kiss! watch them whip! watch them nae nae!), but I’m just not sure I really care about all these honeymoon phase pop bops. They’re fun, but a little, uh…easy breezy basic. Sorry!

Then again, I’ve got no right to call anyone basic: Thanks to Meghan Trainor‘s “No,” I’m a full-time conductor on the M-Train. What can I say? I’m a sucker for a Destiny’s Child-biting melody and a NSYNC/Britney-jacking chord progression.

Onto the up-and-comers: King Deco, who I’ve championed on MuuMuse for a while now, suddenly switched her more atmospheric sound up with some solid steel drum tropical pop vibes on “Castaway,” proving she’s got even more sides to offer — gotta love a versatile queen. Phoebe Ryan, another certifiable One To Watch, supplies more sugary-sweetness on “Chronic.” She remains one hit away from superstardom.

Speaking of, Keke Palmer deserves to be a massive pop star, thanks to “Enemiez.” Not since being a lyrical reference in Jenna Rose‘s culture-shaking “My Jeans” has her presence in pop music been so refreshing. Also, have you seen the video? It’s good to know that while Ciara‘s giving those goodies to her fiancé on vacation, we’ve got this fierce R&B princess to hold down the fort.

D∆WN, the artist formerly known as Danity Kane‘s Dawn Richard, is currently cooking up her most lighthearted effort yet in the final release in her ongoing solo album trilogy, RED*emp*tion. “Not Above That” is an unapologetic electroni ode to wanting the D, and the newly released Deadboy remix of the banging track gives it a whole new, eerie feel for a moody 4 AM bump and grind session.

There’s plenty of greatness on the international front, from the grand return of the All Saints (“One Strike” sounds just as fresh as MKS‘ “Flatline”), to Girls’ Generation‘s member Yoona‘s breezy solo stroll into springtime with 10cm on “Deoksugung Stonewall Walkway” (say that one 10 times fast), to my new favorite Madeline Juno, who proves that German girls have more fun — when they’re not too busy getting their hearts broken. Love her!

Also, Queen of Estonia Kerli‘s “Feral Hearts” is, to no one’s surprise, purely magestic and divine. Every time I listen to the song, woodland creatures gather at my feet and we wave our hands/hooves and sing gayly toward the moon. Moonchild forever. #VisitEstonia

Kiiara‘s “Feels” already supplied way too many feels and way too much emotion when it debuted last year, but this new Jai Wolf remix? Whew. A whole new level of emotions — so much so, I put it on loop for like four hours over the weekend to draw this picture of Britney:

Of course, not all of the best songs of the month are streaming, because nothing in this life is fair.

Queen Tinashe‘s just sprung yet another leak with the super tight “Bullet,” which kind of sounds like a slowed down hip-hop take on ATC‘s twinkling “All Around The World (La La La La La)” in the chorus. The Joyride era’s been a bit of a wild ride so far, but I remain faithfully riding shotgun as long as she’s at the wheel.

Last but certainly not least, there’s the small matter of this Hilary Duff “Sparks” mash-up with Alice Deejay‘s “Better Off Alone,” which managed to restore my faith in humanity, reignite my love for late ’90s/early ’00s trance and transport me right back to the release of Breathe In. Breathe Out. last year.

Sure, that era only lasted the length of a FAN DEMANDED Tinder right swipe, but we’re still so blessed to even have received a Hilary Duff comeback record in the 2010s in the first place.

Anyway, enjoy any and all these songs. B9 is coming. Stay strong, y’all.