Rihanna Is About to SOS (Save Our Skin)

World leader, Navy admiral, the People’s President, and the Queen of Remembering Rihanna may never release music again, but that’s only because she’s a little too busy stepping in and saving the world – and now, our pores too.

After quite literally providing a cultural rih-set in the form of Fenty Beauty three years ago, which came phresh out the runway with a vast, inclusive shade range that caused established beauty brands to cower in shame and quickly up their game just to keep up, the elusive “Breakin’ Dishes” chanteuse is now taking aim at the beauty market on a cellular level in the form of – you guessed it: Fenty Skin.

“Ima try my best to be humble about this but, @fentyskin is coming July 31st exclusively at FENTYSKIN.COM!! Y’all ain’t hear it from me 🤫 but you can shop it early if ya drop me your email through the link in my bio…,” Rih wrote, along with a video of herself washing her face and using some of the products. The packaging is very Fenty Beauty, and it looks like she’s doing some cleansing and moisturizing. I am thoroughly sold, signed up and waiting to be ushered into “The New Culture of Skincare” as advertised.

Never one to miss an opportunity to be petty on a galaxy brain level, Rih also seemingly bookmarked a handful of tweets from at least three years ago just to wait patiently to drag them up and use them right now to announce that her skincare line – which is genderless, duh – is coming.

Let’s be clear here: in Rihanna, I trust. I don’t even need to know what’s in it ahead of time – if it’s endorsed by the actual “G4L” glowing goddess herself, then it’s good enough for my gay ass. I can only assume it’s made out of some combination of SPF, diamonds and cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake. (Jessica Simpson‘s Dessert Beauty might be shaking.)

My sole request? There’s a song laying right there in her discography – it’s called “Skin,” from 2010’s Loud. (I know you already know that, I’m just pointing it out for the rest of the audience.) If there is any justice, she’ll use the song (and/or recreate the Loud Tour performance) in an upcoming campaign visual. I mean: “No heels, no shirt, no skirt…all I’m in is just skin.” It’s actually begging to have a moment. And if we might not be getting new music anytime soon, the least she could do is rih-mind us all of an excellent deep cut from the catalog.

See you all (from a six foot distance, in a mask) at the local Sephora to fight over Rih’s Bitch Better Have My Serum and Fire Bomb Toner later this summer…