Today has just been full of disappointments: The videos for “Bad Romance” and “Video Phone” seem to be delayed indefinitely, the Leona Lewis album is, for the most part, a massive snooze-fest, and worst of all, the strawberries that I worked so hard to plant have withered on FarmVille.
But enough mourning for this morning, it’s time to talk about the good stuff: “Dance in the Dark,” Mademoiselle Gaga‘s new single (maybe?) off of The Fame Monster, her re-release of The Fame (maybe?).
An In-Depth Analysis of “Dance in the Dark.”
1. The opening.
Stuttering male vocals! Gaga shrieking in the distance! Haunted synthesizers! Doom, destruction, and everything in between! Brilliant.
2. “Silicone, saline, poison, inject me…baby, I’m a free bitch.”
The greatest opening line of 2009.
3. She sends a shout-out to Sylvia Plath.
So the breakdown layout is lifted straight from Madonna‘s “Vogue.” Who cares? Everyone knows that if someone’s reciting the names of famous people in a monotone voice, it’s time to dance.
In the case off “Dance in the Dark,” Gaga limits her subjects according to theme, choosing only those who’ve suffered a tragic end by way of (or indirectly because of), you guessed it: The fame. “Marilyn, Judy, Sylvia…tell ’em how you feel, girls.” Shivers!
4. It is dark disco.
“Dance in the Dark” is a hands-in-the-air dance song about a woman being harassed by her boyfriend. “She looks good, but her boyfriend says she’s a tramp, she’s a vamp, but she still does her dance,” mourns the Gaga. And let’s not forget about the chorus: “Baby does her dance in the dark, ’cause when he’s looking, she falls apart.” Who knew emotional abuse could inspire such happy feet?
5. It is not quite as good as “Bad Romance,” but it’s in the same league.
Which, according to my calculations, means that The Fame Monster is almost destined to be one of the greatest pop releases of the year.