Wait, isn’t that Adam Lambert and Amanda Lepore?

Fair warning: My experience at the Scissor Sisters concert involved a great deal of celebrity ogling, thanks to a very kind VIP pass courtesy of the band. Shameless name-dropping and self-absorbed ramblings begin…NOW.

As we made our way into Terminal 5 on Wednesday night, my friends and I quickly hustled through the crowd and took our spot to the right of the stage, dancing like fools to the very good remixes being played by DJ Sammy Jo (There was Kylie playing!) and getting pumped up Jersey Shore style.

Though my good friend (and loyal Muuser) Parker and I had received VIP passes for access to the balcony above, we ultimately decided that it would be more fun to simply dance with our other friends at the show within the general admission crowd. Well, at the time anyway.

“Wait, isn’t that Adam Lambert and Amanda Lepore?” someone in our group asked, pointing up toward the aforementioned balcony. With a quick glance, it was confirmed: That was indeed Adam Lambert, guy-liner and all. And as for Lepore? Well, she has a way of sticking out like a sore, swollen thumb.

“Yeah okay, maybe we should go up there,” I decided.

And so, Parker and I shoved our way out of the pack, rushing to every corner of the venue desperately trying to find our way up the stairs. We eventually did (it’s in the back by the bar!), climbed our way up and, with a flash of the VIP bracelet (~glamourous~), we were up there too.

Instantly, the mood changed. It was more calm surely, but there was a strange buzz in the air. Like everyone just knew there were a gaggle of celebrities and socialites standing about. The faces started to look familiar: Club kids and scenesters swarmed about, including boys wearing glittery shoes and coat jackets with pom-poms glued to the collars. There was also a long-haired man wearing white who I’m vaguely confident was Jesus Christ himself.

Nonetheless, we elbowed our way closer until we finally reached Mr. Glambert. For a pop star, he was looking fairly understated, wearing a simple gray tee and black gloves. When we reached him, he was just sort of standing there waiting around behind his more extravagant looking entourage.

Okay, so look: I didn’t want to be perceived as an obnoxious fan boy standing around waiting for a photo at a concert. Believe me: I was there for the Scissor Sisters first and foremost. But how in the fuck was I going to prove that I was standing in the VIP balcony with Adam Lambert? I needed a photo.

Taking a deep breath, I tapped him on the shoulder (it felt like glitter, for the record), and said “I’m sorry. Can I have a picture?” He shrugged and said sure, turned around, and allowed Parker to snap the above shot. As you can see, there was a sad case of the blurs upon review, but I just couldn’t work up the courage to tap him again. Besides, he was already giggling along with his friends anyway. NONETHELESS MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Slowly but surely, the balcony grew more jam-packed. More glitterati filled the narrow aisle, and we started getting pushed back into the wall. “Maybe we should go back down,” I started to say.

“Look at that table,” said Parker, pointing in front of us. I read the place-holder resting on top: ‘Reserved for Katy Perry.’ And, at the table directly to the left: ‘Reserved for Drew Barrymore.’

“Yeah okay, so maybe we should stay,” I decided.

About five minutes later, a small troupe wormed their way through the velvet rope. It was Miss Purry herself, looking gorgeous in a leopard mini-dress. I immediately noticed her hair, which looked extra fabulous. I guess it’s either new or I just didn’t notice when I saw her perform on Live On Letterman, but she now has luscious strands of blue and red scattered within (I guess she’s really loving up that candy-coated theme lately).

So there I was, sandwiched behind Katy Perry, Adam Lambert, Susan Sarandon, Amanda Lepore, and Drew Barrymore, leaving me no choice but to do what has always come naturally: I stood there awkwardly. I mean, what else does one even do in these situations? I had no idea.

As the lights dimmed, the crowd downstairs began to roar and the Scissors took to the stage. Even in the VIP section, the buzzing bodies took to their respective places and began looking on eagerly. Sadly, we quickly discovered that if we weren’t standing directly against the banister among the celebrities (which we were not), we weren’t going to see much happening on stage–especially standing at 5′ 4″. And so, we decided to rush back into the crowd downstairs.

For a good story’s sake however, I am heretofore claiming that it was solely because I couldn’t see past Katy Perry’s head. It’s basically the truth!


As we rushed back down the stairs, the grinding sounds of “Night Work” kicked into the speakers. Parker and I quickly squeezed back into the main audience during the second verse of the song. Although we couldn’t get as deep into the crowd as where we stood prior to what I shall refer to as ‘the balcony situation,’ we still had a pretty good view of the stage (and Del Marquis’ crotch–I DIGRESS).

Throughout the night, the Sisters would bang out a bulk of their incredible album released in July, Night Work including “Fire With Fire,” “Any Which Way,” “Something Like This” and “Skin This Cat,” as well as favorites from their past records, including “I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’,” (which got the entire venue moving) “Tits On The Radio” (which got the entire venue vamping), and “Take Your Mama” (which had the entire venue crooning at the top of their lungs).

Every member of the troupe supplied their own flare of personality to the stage: From Babydaddy‘s cool swagger, to Jake Shears‘ unstoppable sexy, to Ana Matronic‘s endless attitude and vamp, to Del Marquis‘ stoic, cocky strumming. Admittedly, I did end up swooning a bit hard for Mr. Marquis and his tight black leather pants as the show went on. Again, I digress.

There were also a few delicious introductions before songs, as with “Skin Tight.” While taking a quick breather before launching into performance, Shears explained that the song was dedicated to his boyfriend who–after eleven or twelve weeks of touring–finally fucked him the night before. A sweeping “Aww…” came across the crowd, along with whistles, cheers and cat calls. A precious moment, no doubt.

“Skin This Cat” was a personal favorite, as Mizz Matronic came strutting out with the band’s sexified, lace-and-leather back-up singers and purred the song’s gloriously sexy lyrics along with some rather frisky choreography. Meeeow. (Hint: IT’S ABOUT HER VAG.) Loved it!

For the group’s final number (at least, before the encore), Ana came center stage and told us about the inspiration for the track (“Night Life”), which came from her first club experience as a 15-year-old in Portland, Oregon. She never wanted that feeling to end, she cooed to the audience, so she vowed never to stop living like that to this very day. Now that’s the spirit of a proper disco diva, my friends.

After a quick dash off-stage for a quick change after the song, the troupe soon returned for an encore, beginning with “Comfortably Numb,” with Jake now wearing an American flag-inspired jacket (it didnt last long–the man just doesn’t take well to clothing) and Ana in a gorgeous, geometric green dress.

Then came “Invisible Light,” the song I had been patiently waiting for the entire night. I can now officially confirm that the six minute opus is, in fact, as utterly EPIC live as it is on a record. By the time that swelling, cascading break in the song came in around the five minute mark, the entire room erupted into a manic, frenzied hands-in-the-air euphoria. The moment was absolutely perfect, and no doubt the night’s shining highlight for me.

After a quick announcement of their after-party location, the band took on their final song of the night: “Filty/Gorgeous.” By the time the song was wrapping up, pure pandemonium began to ensue on stage: Jake Shears took a quick dive into the crowd, at this point wearing an ass-less latex one piece (I can only imagine the unholiness he’s experienced while being passed around in that outfit). Miss Matronic doused him in water and ripped off the top of her dress to reveal a black bra underneath. Mic stands went flying, and confetti and fake cash baring the Night Work album cover and the motto “Make Some Cash – Fuck The Rich” burst high into the air, showering the crowd. It was utter insanity in the most fierce, most glamorous rock ‘n’ roll sort of way.

“We are the Scissor Sisters, and so are YOU!” Ana shouted out as the audience roared for the final time.

The Sisters delivered an immense, electrifying performance for their adoring fans in New York City. It was an endlessly fun experience–not to mention an impressive display of the band’s talent and professionalism.

Honestly, I wasn’t even that close to the stage for the show, and I still had such a blast. The band is just so much fun! An amazing experience, without a doubt.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to take a call: My new BFFs Kitty Purry and Glambert are tots blowing up my phone right now.

Many thanks to Parker F. for the photos (and upcoming videos).