Oh, Girls Aloud. That mighty Xenomania-fueled vessel of sky-high stilettos and musical perfection.

The legendary UK girl group’s latest news update just hit inboxes this morning, and a quick scroll through leads to a pretty hilarious conclusion: DAYUM. That is some SHADE.

The full update basically reads as follows:

Nicola‘s kicking off her solo career!

Sarah‘s hosting some dumb new dating reality show called Dating In The Dark!

Kimberley‘s starring in an upcoming movie called Horrid Henry!

Chezza‘s continuing to take over the world with her flawless talent and beauty by becoming a judge for US X Factor!

And Queen Nuhdeen

…came in 4th place at the Virgin Media Awards for her flop-tastic debut solo single, “Insatiable.”

OH. REALLY, THOUGH? And then, to top it all off…