BOW DOWN AND WEEP AT THE FEET
OF CLEOPATRANEY, MORTALS.

BEHOLD: The ineffable beauty of Godney Spears, now transformed into Cleopatraney, here to promote the release of her newest, most potent elixir yet: Fantasy Twist, an iconic fragrance tie-in with her game-changing game changer, Twister Dance, available on September 1 in only the rarest locations in all the world (Walmart, CVS and RiteAid, mainly.)

Wrapped in the blessed window curtains from her Stages photo shoot and cloaked in golden accoutrements made by melting down one of her dozens of gold-certified …Baby One More Time plaques, the free-of-flaw Queen has provided us with a sneak peek at her attire for the shoot, which has clearly been designed to evoke memories of the sacred Egyptian-themed “Gimme More” performance of The Femme Fatale Tour in Year of 2011.

Our Godney chooses her own destiny, which is why she’s chosen to travel deep into the treacherous hallways of what appears to be the local Holiday Inn in St. Paul, Minnesota to take her promotional photographs. She will then train for many moons, practicing her deadly microphone whipping, her masterful hand-to-hand combat, and of course, the Slay Wink, before finally going into battle to smite the cursed Floptinarus, Goddess Of The Flops.

All in a day’s work for a living legend.