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Nicole Scherzinger’s “On The Rocks”: How Did This Happen?

Following the Top 10 UK success of her wonderfully breezy summer single “Your Love,” there was nothing left for former Pussycat Doll and current Her Name Is Nicole songstress (now available for pre-order!) Nicole Scherzinger to doo-doo-doo-da-doo than supply us with a follow-up single. It’s called “On The Rocks.”

Briefly, a few quick questions about “On The Rocks.”

1.) Why did this song happen?

2.) Who let this song happen?

3.) Is this genuinely one of the strongest songs from Nicole’s upcoming, allegedly Velvet Rope-inspired new album?

4.) Is Nicole, who is known to be a Verifiably Very Good Singer, aware of how overly Auto-Tuned this song is?

5.) Is she also aware that this dated tune sounds like an unreleased B-side from Kelly Rowland‘s Here I Am?

6.) Furthermore, is she familiar with the greatness of “Don’t Hold Your Breath” in comparison to whatever this is?

7.) How was this song released while “Pretty” remains unreleased on iTunes? #BuyPrettyOniTunes

8.) Is this song so unwaveringly bad that I will begin to ‘ironically’ like it?

9.) Will I ‘ironically’ like it to the point where I start to un-ironically like it?

10.) Do I already un-ironically like it?

Let’s remember a simpler time.

“On The Rocks” will be released on October 12. (iTunes)