“Rude Boy,” off of Rihanna‘s Rated R, is basically 100% perfect. There’s no denying it. The beat is just nasty. OOF! I just want to squeeze the fuck out of this track.

And let’s not forget about the lyrics, arguably the best feature of “Rude Boy.” Wikipedia tells me the track was written by a woman (Ester Dean?), though I’m confident a gay man must have scribed this track. I mean, come on…THE CHORUS: “Come here rude boy, boy / Can you get it up? / Come here rude boy, boy / Is you big enough? / Take it, take it / Love me, love me.” It’s clearly about filthy man-love.

The middle eight is equally phenomenal: “You say you a rude boy, show me what you got now,” Princess RiRi cries before her voice goes rocketing off into one final, scrumptious round of getting it up and showing her what you got.

All this talk of getting it on, riding on top and “give it to me baby, like boom boom boom”….phew! I’m getting flustered.

Oh yes, one more thing! As my friend David points out, the chord progression is the same as Madonna‘s “Get Together.” Hear it? Listen closely to the steel drum-like synths in the chorus.

LOVING IT.

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