BOW THE FUCK DOWN.
A thick, dewy purple mist descends. The scent of Secret Potion and a Taco Bell Cheesy Crunch Gordita permeates the air. A wild cackling pierces through the wind. And just like that, it’s too late: Our bodies are about to get fucked.
Last night, while tinkering on her 1996 IBM and searching for One Direction fan-fic porn on Tumblr, Our Lady of Woohoo accidentally flopped out the maybe-sorta final version of “Your Body,” the Max Martin-produced lead single of Rebirthtina’s highly anticipated seventh studio album, which insiders now Excluusively tell MuuMuse will be called Mariah Carey Is Irrelevant, Britney is Fat, and I Already Invented ARTPOP When I Released Stripped.
Because it is simply too iconic, and because our basic ears cannot properly synthesize the sound of divinity in sonic form, I’ve created a helpful study guide to better understand the inner workings of Legendtina’s “Your Body.”
Click the first picture below and use the left and right arrows on your keyboard to flip through the gallery, or, if you’re planning to present this at your college or university (as you should), download the PowerPoint presentation now!