Today, Madonna was given an award for being relevant and old. The opening speech for her Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction was delivered by Justin Timberlake, who continuously bared his still-broken ego. Case in point:

“She has still found time to kiss someone I may or may not have publicly kissed myself while I was in the audience…Of course you know I was talking about Sean Penn.”

“The world has always been full of Madonna wannabes and I might have even dated a couple.”


Despite fervent cries of “DEAR GOD, NO!” from all directions, Madonna has not yet scrapped her plans for her “urban” album. A teardrop falls slowly from the eyes of gay men everywhere.