Introduucing…The Dolly Rockers!

Thanks to Muuser Jordan, I have officially hopped on board the Dolly Rockers train. You’ll have to forgive me for not falling in line sooner–I figured they were some sort of Dolly Parton revivalist committee.

They’re not.

Instead, these girls are the sluttier, drunker version of Girls Aloud if more-than-halved, given the va-va-voom hair stylings and out of control addictions of a restrained Amy Winehouse, and a Borat-esque ability to shamelessly perform their clownery in public.

I mean, just look at the video they slapped together for their Spice Girls-esque silly fest, “Je Suis Une Dolly.” They’re doing silly jigs in floofy dresses right in the metro for God’s sake!

Plus, they make really fun series of “how-to” videos on YouTube, including a rather informative bit on how to get that big hair look. You’ll need to check out this masterpiece immediately.

But the track that made me fall for them–really, really, fall for them–is a little ditty called “Champagne Shirley.” Like the Hustler version of the Aloud’s “Racey Lacey,” the D. Rockers lay down the line against some big-breasted bimbo and her high fashion follies. Greatest line ever? “She wears haute couture–what the FOOK DOES THAT MEAN?!”

Oh yes, and this brilliant profile from The Times Online, which is just as much of a treat to read. Here’s a choice moment:

Oblivious to it all, Brooke Challinor, Lucie Kay and Sophie King burst into the dining room like three ASBO Alices trying to blag their way into Wonderland. They are — in a way that only three 20-year-old women dressed in sequins, stockings, fish-net tights, ribbons and comically small bowler hats can be — quite terrifying.

PLUS, they’ve publicly, unabashedly told off The Saturdays several times! WHAT MORE COULD YOU POSSIBLY ASK FOR. Nuhdeen, consider this band as openers for your massively successful solo career, will you?

While you’re at it, go ahead and grab a free download of the Dolly Rockers’ “Je Suis Une Dolly” right here.

There now–you’ve been officially Dolly Rockered.

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