Oh, hay grl.

So I wasn’t going to speak about it this until after the audition, and then I thought maybe I just shouldn’t speak about it at all because I probably won’t get it, but now I figure let’s just get on with it: I just came back from MTV Studios, where I was auditioned for the role of August’s “Rock Reporter” for mtvU! It’s a pretty ~sweet gig~, including free travel to five festivals across the country all leading up to the VMA’s at the end of the month. I was asked to come in for an interview to cover said festivals…and so I did.

Per mommy’s suggestion, I chose the vest-shirt-skinny tie look that’s so popular with the kiddies these days to appeal to the base. It’s a good look for me–I kind of resemble the shunned gay Jewish cousin of the Jonas Brothers. After heading over to MTV Studios in Times Square, I fought with the lobby man for about 10 minutes to prove my identity and assure him of my good intentions before riding the elevator up 33 stories. Did you know that when you walk out of an elevator that shoots up 33 stories you sort of walk out all wobbly like an accordion? Looney Tunes nailed that feeling.

So when I walked out, I met the lovely and charming MTV associate who called me yesterday. I oohed and aahed as she guided me through the pretty blue office, leading me into this glass conference room where I stood against a window overlooking the entire city. After peering me up and down with the camera (MY EYES ARE UP HERE PERVERT!), I introduced myself, explained why I’ve gotten into music reporting, and my whole ‘deal’ as a person.

The entire process was literally a blur and I literally remember nothing from what was said. Sometimes spurts of information dance around into consciousness (“first bought a Spice Girls CD in 1997”; “Yeah no, I totally love music”; “There’s a chance I’m pregnant.”) But otherwise? Nothing.Then it got kind of awkward because they asked me to take off my clothes and say it all over again naked. I also cried a little.

After that, I was told to do a little impromptu schpiel pretending I was at a VMA music festival in Boston, recapping the day’s events and talking about the various happenings. I thought it went okay, though I was asked to do it seven additional times. I think that may be a good thing, as I would assume they’d toss me out on the spot if I completely sucked.

Oh yeah, and on the last take, I was asked to throw in some reference to comedy. Like, literally the art of comedy. It could be anything–a comedian, or something funny I saw. So, working with that type of extreme vaguery, what else could a boy do but reference the one and only Kathy Griffin? Expected, I know. Once again, I can’t remember a damn thing I said about her, but I know it was something like “the entire front row was surely offended.”

The entire process kind of reminded me of Drop Dead Gorgeous, in that mentally I told myself to ignore the competition be strong like my idol, Diane Sawyer. I may or may not have broke out a Minnesota accent halfway through…again, it’s as much as a blackout to me as the year 2007 was for Britney.

I really don’t know/don’t expect to get this, but it’d be a huge opportunity. It was a pleasure to begin with, and I don’t think I could have done it any differently, so…I’m happy that I did my thing regardless.

It would be a really amazing job though. Plus, I could report from the VMAs, and if Britney really does perform that night, the audience would most likely experience some live tears. Think about it, mtvU…TELEVISION GOLD.

So, yeah…I’m back. Just wanted to let you all know that your favorite blogger is blowing the fuck UP. Or well, not really. But sort of.

xoxo
b