gaga_kanye

Photo courtesy of BeatCrave.

First, a LOLZ-worthy headline from CNN:

Kanye West’s ‘Fame Kills’
tour meets swift death

I am no longer of the mind that the T. Swift incident caused the demise of what would have been the 2 Much Ego Tour.

Laurieann “BOOMCACK!” Gibson, the choreographer to the ~stars~ (formerly of Making the Band fame, currently of choreographing Gaga for her upcoming SNL stint fame), tweeted last night that the tour ceased to be as a result of “creative differences.”

And now, I present a dramatic dialogue. I am fairly certain that things went down similarly, if not exactly, as such:

The Fame Kills Tour: Creative Differences

Gaga: Oh hey, Kanye. Hey, Amber Rose.
Amber Rose: *Sticks out ass for Kanye to rest his drink on; says nothing.*
Kanye: GA-uh GAAAAA-uh. What is UP, Gaga?
Gaga: Oh, nothing. Just got out of a great meeting with the Haus of Gaga again. We went over some set designs. It’s just beautiful. Gorgeous. I actually cried envisioning the final product. Literally, I just took off my over-sized, computer chip aviators and cried for hours and hours.
Kanye: Oh yeah? Lemme hear ‘em.
Gaga: Well, I was thinking what we should do is have a glittery rhinoceros come out and eat us alive while we’re fucking in the middle of the stage.
Kanye: Mm, that’s tight. Like a giant, blue glittery rhinoceros.
Gaga: Err, I was actually thinking the rhinoceros should be red.
Kanye: What?
Gaga: It just seems like the rhin—
Kanye: HOLD UP, GAGA. I’MMA LETCHU FINISH, BUT A BLUE GLITTERY RHINOCEROS IS CLEARLY THE BEST RHINOCEROS TO EAT US.
Gaga: …Oh, fuck this. Come on Kermie, let’s go get high with David LaChapelle and prance through the jungles naked again.
*Gratuitous make-out session with Kermit the Frog before jumping into a horse-drawn carriage and speeding away.*

Thank you.