The video for Nicole Scherzinger‘s new RedOne-produced single “Poison” was just released, and it is completely terrible. Let us explore why. (VIDEO)
1.) The hair: It’s a problem. For everyone involved.
2.) Britney rip, Part I: A Joseph Khan-directed music video that involves a pop star on a high-speed motorcycle? I’ve never seen this before.
3.) Extended spit scenes: Ew, gross. If I wanted to watch a video of a man spitting, I’d be–I’m stopping that thought.
4.) Britney rip, Part II: A Joseph Khan-directed video that involves a pop star constantly quick-changing into another outfit simply by spinning around quickly? I’ve never seen this before.
5.) The dancing: It’s sloppy, and not in the ‘look how fun and cheeky we’re being by making a campy superhero video’ kind of way, but in a ‘this is shitty and fun for nobody that’s watching’ kind of way.
But above all, the greatest offense of this video is that it was directed by Joseph Khan, the same man behind Britney’s “Stronger,” “Toxic,” and “Womanizer,” Kylie‘s “All The Lovers,” Gaga‘s “LoveGame” and generally amazing music videos.
That this video looks like nothing more than a quickly slapped-together combination of everything we’ve already seen from him (but done ten times worse) is truly a cheapening of the Joseph Khan brand–not to mention yet another count against the continuously crumbling empire that is Nicole Scherzinger’s career.
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, WOMAN.
