Here now we have former Popstars: The Rivals contestant Cheryl Cole performing the soon-to-be iconic chart-topper “The Flood,” her second single (which doubles as arguably one of the worst songs ever recorded in the history of ever) from her second studio album, Messy Little Raindrops (which doubles as arguably one of the worst albums ever recorded in the history of ever) at tonight’s Royal Variety Performance gala held by the British Royal Family.

Wait, okay. I’m sorry–is that? Is this completely live? Correct me if I’m wrong, but is Chezza absolutely nailing that “THE FLAHHHHHHHHUDDDD” bit? Really? Not pre-recorded, that bit?

If so, brava little mama! Brava. You’ll make that Prince William regret his choice of Kate Middleton yet.

In conclusion: Cheryl looks very nice and pretty, but I do wish there was a dance breakdown. I’ve come to expect these sorts of things.

ALL HAIL PRINCESS CHEZZA TWEEDY.