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Jennifer Lopez Snatches Wigs, Takes Names with Performance of “On The Floor” on ‘American Idol’

¡AYYYYYYYDIOSMIO!

Okay, so–oh my God. Jennifer Lopez just performed “On The Floor” for the first time EVER on American Idol tonight. And to no one’s surprise in particular, it was fucking. HOT. FIYA.

Okay, first of all–the “I’m Into You” segue into “On The Floor” introduction? So good! So exciting! So sexy! And then–and THEN, Pitbull came running out! But no one really cared because, well…it’s Pitbull. It doesn’t matter if he’s making an appearance on a song or in person. The general reaction is just, like: “Oh, okay! Pitbull! So where’s the singer at?”

AND THEN SHE APPEARS, LIKE THE GLITTERY SEXY SILVER GODDESS SHE IS, SHIMMERING AND GLOWING FOR ALL TO SEE AND BEHOLD IN WONDER AND AMAZEMENT. (No, but really, she was probably wearing Glow.)

So what does she decide to do? SHE FUCKING SIDE KICKS A GLASS BOX. Why? Because she’s from the DOWNTOWN BRONX, BITCH.

Princess Jenny then goes on to storm up and down the stage while busting out her #1 worldwide hit, snatching wigs and perfectly twerking and jerking to the beat. She even rises up on a platform thingy for a second! And–wait, is that LIVE?! Yes, mamacitas–LIVE VOCALS ARE POURING FROM HER BEAUTIFUL, ANGEL-SCULPTED FACE.

And then–OH! OH! The dance breakdown, in which she literally IS ON THE FLOOR! SO, SO VERY SEXY. Sharp, sexy moves…she was totes dancing for her papi!!!

I LOVED IT.

In all seriousness, I suppose the greatest thing about the performance is watching La Lopez have FUN. J-Lo hails from a slightly older school of entertainment by modern pop standards: She’s hyping the crowd, smiling, running around and making sure you’re having just as much fun as she is. I’m not trying to throw shade in any particular performer’s direction (seriously, I’m not), but sometimes it’s nice to know that the person on stage is LOVING what’s going on as much as we are!

I need a fan. It is simply TOO SEXY IN HERE! No, seriously–there’s no air in here and I’m gonna die–give me a fan!