Move over Miley and Leslie–there’s a new BFFL duo in tween town.
14-year-old Annabella Avery “Bella” Thorne (yes, that does mean she was born in 1997…dear God almighty) is a rising Disney princess who stars on the new hit show, Shake It Up!. (I say “hit” without actually knowing whether it’s a hit–let’s just go with it, okay?) She also has a best friend named Pia Mia.
Together, the two have joined girly forces to craft an unapologetically UH-MAZING pop song: “Bubblegum Boy.” Frankly, Willow Smith best be keeping one eye open she goes to sleep at night, ’cause these girls are coming to slay.
You see, “Bubblegum Boy” starts off with a siren call, which is important because an alarm in pop music means something AMAZING is about to happen (see: “Ring The Alarm”)–AND OH, HOW IT DOES.
“Bubblegum Boy” is what I’d describe as a ‘sassy banga.’ Why? Well, there’s a great deal of both (A) sassy lyricism and (B) banga beats. “I don’t care about what you got/You’re frontin’ cause you know you’re just a…” the girls sassily chant before launching into the banga of a chorus.
Now let me tell you something: The chorus of “Bubblegum Boy” is EVERYTHING. It’s a “Whip My Hair”-esque power-punch of a hook that’ll have you shaking and crying into your Lisa Frank trapper keeper within mere seconds.
“Bubblegum Boy” will get stuck in your head forever, and then you’ll hate yourself for listening in the first place, and then you’ll secretly add it to your iPod, and then you’ll find yourself talking to a really cute boy at a coffee shop, and then he’ll look down and see that you’re listening to “Bubblegum Boy”, and then he’ll either get down on bended knee and propose to you on the spot or just grimace and walk away.
So far I’ve only experienced the latter, but I’m holding out for a hero.
BELLA AND PIA ARE COMING FOR WIGS Y’ALL. BYE HATERS!!!
“Bubblegum Boy” was released on December 5. (iTunes)