Katy Perry has a new (old) song out. It’s called “Part of Me” and it’s, well…amazing.

My displeasure with Katy Perry is a storied affair, but I’ve always maintained that for any pop star, it’s “all about the music” in the end. (Except, of course, in the case of Chris Brown, in which it’s “all about the GET THE FUCK OUT.”)

As my good friend Sam Lansky breathlessly explained to MTV Buzzworthy last week, “Part of Me” was
divined by pop wizard Bonnie McKee, maker of “Teenage Dream,” “Hold It Against Me” and basically all amazing pop songs ever. It’s science: The woman is incapable of crafting a bad hook.

Katy’s new single sounds like “Teenage Dream” mixed with “The One That Got Away” mixed with “Hot And Cold” mixed with, well, every other Katy Perry song, because every Katy Perry song sounds like the same Dr. Luke production over and over again. (It’s a partnership which will soon come to an end. 2012: The end of Katy Perry?)

As a result, it’s a pretty solid (if not entirely derivative) smash.

Of all the different incarnations of Katy Perry–whether it’s bullying her effeminate boyfriend, sensationalizing same-sex kissing or churning out reductive renditions of Ke$ha hits–my favorite flavor is ‘pissed off Katy’, because I can usually suspend my distaste for her eye-rolling ‘I’m only doing pop for the money’ state of being and genuinely get into that growling anger, as evidenced on the really, really fucking good Alanis-lite “Circle The Drain” off of Teenage Dream.

“Part of Me” continues in that general direction, as the scorned songstress triumphantly declares: “This is the part of me that you’re never ever going to take away from me!” Nice.

Although I find it a little advantageous to release a two year old breakup empowerment anthem NOW after the ink on her divorce papers hasn’t even dried yet, I’m not surprised: After all, she is the Queen of Shameless Marketing, including major discount iTunes pricing and last minute remixes for yet another assent to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. (Yay, integrity!)

Still, “Part of Me” is several layers of amazing, a nearly instant #1 in the making, and a song I’ll quickly grow to hate within 1 to 5 weeks after it’s played to oblivion on every radio station across the country.

In closing, my emotions regarding this song are best represented in this scene from Bridesmaids, in which I am Kristen Wiig and the pink lemonade is Katy Perry’s “Part of Me.”

Goddammit, that’s good.

“Part of Me” was released on February 13. (iTunes)