Last night, years of hard work and dedication culminated with the most dazzling display of courage and showmanship…
Miley Cyrus debuted her new haircut, y’all!
While “Party In The USA” scribe Jessie J was busy desecrating the legacy of Freddie Mercury by shout-yodeling in a stolen Britney body suit during the Olympic Closing Ceremony, Miss Cyrus decided to steal the global spotlight by debuting her feisty, ferocious new look on Twitter.
Ditching the curly golden-brown tresses we’ve come to know and adore, the tiny “Who Owns My Heart?” chanteuse broke out the scissors for a bold, bombshell platinum blonde crop cut. She can’t be tamed, but she can be buzzed!
But what can the new cropped ‘do mean? Is it an ode to Skrillex? Goldie Hawn circa 1972? Or perhaps Godney herself? In rebellion, there’s a sparkle of truth, you know.
But, really–let’s discuss what this is REALLY about: As we already know, Miley’s been cooking up a “genre-bending record” in the studio with Pharell. Along with this new cut, perhaps this is the official Emancipation of Smiley Miley. It’s certainly shaping up to be Miss Miley’s boldest era yet!
If nothing else, the move’s already influencing other hot young teens to follow suit: According to MuuMuse insiders, Demi Lovato was last photographed stepping outside of a hair salon in Encino with a rainbow-colored afro. Additionally, Selena Gomez was last spotted inside a hair salon in downtown Los Angeles with girlfriend Justin Bieber frantically holding a pair of clippers above her head, shouting “I’ll fucking do it! That bitch won’t win this time!”
On a related note, Our Lady of Lipstick Legendtina herself debuted a purple hombre look during The Voice press junkets yesterday, and not a single fuck was granted across the entire land.
MuuMuse can excluusively reveal that the purple color is called Keeps Getting Purpler, a part of Christina’s exciting new line of hair colors, Hairy Legend, available at Taco Bell this Fall.