Oh! Hey look, y’all–it’s the glittery Gutter-Pop Princess herself, Ke$ha!

Hey K$! So nice to see you upright again. All the vomit out of your weave yet today, or…?

Takes time, I get it. What? No! I can barely smell that. Are you as excited as I am about Legendtina‘s “Your Body”?

OH. Never mind. So, like, what’re you even doing today, anyway? Yodeling on a train in Tokyo? That sounds fun!

What’s that you’re singing? I don’t think I’ve ever–WAIT. “Like we’re gonna die young”? IS THAT WHAT YOU JUST SAID?

AS IN “DIE YOUNG,” THE BENNY BLANCO-PRODUCED LEAD SINGLE FROM YOUR MASSIVELY ANTICIPATED SOPHOMORE RECORD, WHICH WAS CO-PENNED BY FUN.‘S NATE REUSS AND DUE OUT ON SEPTEMBER 25?!

I QUITE LITERALLY CANNOT FIND FLAWS.

YOU RLY ARE, THO.

My body is ready to “Die Young.” Is yours?

“Die Young” will be released on September 25. (iTunes)