Does anyone else smell a Cheesy Gordita Crunch?
With “Your Body” currently setting the charts ablaze at #58 on the Billboard Hot 100 after 4 weeks (SAY!), it’s safe to say that iconic 2001 Blockbuster Award-winning songstress Christina Aguilera owns the throne yet again.
This week, the Mi Reflejo chanteuse took a breather from her hectic schedule of having Baby Max dye her hair in a bathtub full of pink Kool-Aid, writing homoerotic One Direction slash fan-fiction and spraying down her lawn with Christina Aguilera: Red Sin to keep the woodland creatures away at night in order to SAY a few things about her upcoming grand masterpiece, Lotus to Rolling Stone.
Below are some of the gems from Rolling Stone‘s story about the upcoming LP (not made up!), which was shakily typed out by the hogtied writer in front of Legendtina’s 1996 IBM with a bat hovering just above his head.
Prepare for Britney shade, Bionic praise and a whole lot of…SAY!
(Oh, and she also snuck backstage at Chelsea Lately last night to spread her legs.)
On the Dark Side Of The Moon of our time, Bionic…
“It had a lot of amazing sounds and a futuristic twist to it,” she says. “But if you weren’t a music person, it was just going to go over your head. A lot of the collaborations were with people that were either very underground or weren’t necessarily from the pop world. I really think it was far ahead of its time and it’ll be fully appreciated in the years to come.”
On the “Car Wash” chanteuse’s commitment to integrity…
“I don’t really push myself to have those formulaic commercial successes. It’s dishonest and it starts lacking creativity. I embraced being a pop artist, but I like doing it on my own terms, at my own pace.”
On whether or not she already knew Max Martin’s name…
“I’m not sure we would have been able to create the same music had we connected earlier,” she says. “He did all the Britney and N’Sync songs, and I was doing something a little more daring. But we’ve gained respect for each other.”
On fans, and evolving as an artist post-“Bobblehead” and “Sex For Breakfast”…
“The most shocking moment on Lotus is the bonus track “Shut Up,” a furious screed against haters in which Aguilera repeatedly chants “If you don’t like it you can suck my dick.” “That’s for my fans to blast in their cars,” she says. “I know a lot of them get heated and pissed off whenever they hear some bullshit rumor or bullshit story, and it’s a great venting song for anyone that is having a bad day or not liking their boss.”
Check out the full article at Rolling Stone and prepare your body to get FUCKED: The Lotus is coming, and it’s multi-layered, heartfelt and extra stinky.
SUCK MY LOTUS.