Girls Aloud Perform “The Promise” For Their Number One Stan: The Queen of England

Yesterday, Girls Aloud delivered a performance so good, it rendered Kate Middleton pregnant.

In the latest move of their glorious 2012 comeback, the Almighty Aloud performed “The Promise” at the annual Royal Variety show last night in front of the royal family. And, in the usual fashion, the performance was a triumphant moment of glamorous mermaid dresses, sparkling lights, show-stopping vocals and dazzling handography.

Each Aloud shined bright layhk uh dayhmund on stage, delivering her vocals flawlessly and with much conviction: Nadine provided massive Irish Mist Burger-sized pipes, Cheryl smirked and cooed her way along, Nicola was on hand to provide confident, fiercely unique #TeamGinge vocal styling, Kimberley looked happy to be there, and Sarah–well, as with every performance of “The Promise”–Sarah stole the whole damn show.


Somewhere hidden among the crowd, The Queen slowly rocks in her seat. “You can’t mistake their biology,” she giggles to Prince William just before the girls strut out on stage. Oh, I do hope Queen Nuhdeen looks at me just once, she almost silently whispers to herself, clutching the signed copies of Girls Aloud Singles Box Set and the Girls Aloud Ten Box Set tightly against her chest. A girl can dream.

Such a stan.

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