The U.S. Postal Service has announced plans to cut mail delivery to The Saturdays today.
The decision comes just after the premiere of the UK girl group’s E! reality TV series, Chasing The Saturdays last month, which follows the girls as they attempt to break into America by arguing over clothes hangers and convincing the public that Jay Sean is relevant.
“What about us? I’ve been waiting for a package for 30 days now!” shrieked Vanessa during an Excluusive phone conference with MuuMuse this morning. “I don’t know what we did to deserve this, but I’m all fired up about it, frankly,” explained Frankie. “Since when did the postal service have such a big ego?” exclaimed Rochelle. “The mail is notoriously late anyway, so whatever. At least we’re in the headlines,” scoffed Mollie. “Fuck this shit,” noted Una.
In response to the news, the girls have come together to record a response track.