shapeney

Breaking records is just something a girl’s gotta do. (REFERENCE.)

Last week, The Holy Spearit blessed the airwaves of On Air With Ryan Seacreast to debut her already iconic Smurfs 2 anthem and probable 2014 Best Original Song Oscar nominee, “Ooh La La.” (She also poured out a bowl of Christmas-scented potpourri mid-interview — presumably whilst chit-chatting about her latest summer read, The Goddess Inheritence, over a glass of sweet tea with Banana the albino python.)

Since then, Smurfney’s been smashing on the radio and rocking the spots all the way to #22 on the Mainstream Top 40 with “Ooh La La,” resulting in not only her 31st Mainstream Top 40 hit (!), but her second-highest debut ever (!!) on the chart since “Hold It Against Me” in 2011.

Plus, she managed to snatch Mariah Carey‘s #beautiful wig while doing so — undoubtedly one of the major reasons Mimi chose to delay her upcoming record. (That, and the obvious intimidation of Selegendary Gomezmerizing‘s Stars Dance on the same day.)

From Billboard:

Britney Spears makes her second-highest debut on Billboard’s Mainstream Top 40 chart, as “Ooh La La” roars in at No. 22. She arrived at a higher rank only with “Hold It Against Me” (No. 16) in 2011. The new song marks Spears’ 31st Mainstream Top 40 entry, pushing her past Mariah Carey (30). Rihanna leads with 36.

“Audience reaction has been as expected thus far: Her fans react to everything she does,” says Erik Bradley, assistant PD/music director of WBBM Chicago, which played “Ooh” 56 times last week (June 17-23). “Britney’s important to the format, and I really like the sound of the song.”

Erik Bradley does have a point: Give the Britney Army/Barmy/Barmystones/Britney’s Bitches/Spearleaders/Womanizers/Slaves 4 B/Followers of Godney/Chosen People a new Britney track, and we’ll send it up to the top of the charts faster than you can say “I hate fuckin’ waiting.”

Do you feel it? That smurf-y sensation in the air? That “Ooh La La” reign is only just beginning — and there’s still a video on the way co-starring Sean Preston and JJ.

And that’s still nothin’ compared to the almighty reckoning that will be Album 8 later this year (tentatively titled Blackout 2.0, It Gets Urbaner And Also More Spearitual, We’re Just Having Lots of Lunches Right Now.)

Could your smurfs?

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