Mother Monster/Sister Swine Lady Gaga has just revealed an essential ASSet in her ongoing ARTPOP promotional efforts.
Last night (you were in my sex dreams!), the “MANiCURE” musician unveiled the cover art for her upcoming don’t-call-it-single (also known as a buzz-single-unless-it-hits-#1-on-iTunes), “Do What U Want” (feat. R. Kelly),” which she recently teased in her experimental #art film, “Best Buy for Beats by Dr. Dre Headphones.”
As per usual, it is far too sophisticated for mortal eyes to fully appreciate, so let us formally break it down on a scholarly level.
1.) The Border.
The box around the image represents the box that Lady Gaga exists outside of. That she is still inside the box in this particular photograph is an intentionally ironic statement, one that she concocted after several hours of deliberation with both The Haus of Gaga and Kermit The Frog.
2.) The Writing.
The writing is an allusion to the single art for “Applause,” the lead single from the ARTPOP era. The live performance of “Applause” at the VMAs was a reference to the earlier eras in Lady Gaga’s career. The Art of Referencing Pop Eras was officially established in 2008 by a popular artiste named Madonna during her performance of “She’s Not Me” on the Sticky And Sweet Tour.
3.) The Hair.
The waves represent the different waves of #ARTPOPPromo over the next few weeks, beginning with “Do What U Want” on Monday. The hair itself is bleach blonde, an allusion to the ’90’s, when Playboy centerfolds like Pamela Anderson ruled the mainstream media — and when R. Kelly was still relevant.
4.) The Thong.
This art form is known as “ratchetrification,” an homage to Barbadian Illuminati High Priestess Rihanna‘s Daisy Duke-gone-through-a-blender thong for the “Pour It Up” video. The two were recently canoodling via tweet, and this is yet another friendly #ARTPOP wink-wink between the two.
5.) The Ass.
The Gaga Ass represents the general public’s ASSumptions about the ARTPOP era. It is large, menacing and in-your-face, much like the anonymous keyboard gangsters (also known as “haters”) hiding behind their computer screens talking trash about ARTPOP, who could probably use a good Jeff Koons ARTPOP mirror ball to the groin. We are also reminded of Gaga’s inspiring Marina Abramovic Method video (which was later endorsed by Ciara), that taught us that through the art of nude yodeling, we too can achieve nirvana.
6.) The Crack.
The crack of the Gaga Ass represents the duality of the human experience. It is the yin and yang, the black and white, The Fame and The Fame Monster. The cheeks are split down the middle because they were Born This Way. The crack is also a reference to the political schism that resulted in the US government shutdown. Here, Gaga’s ass is full and ready to unload a giant ARTPOP upon the masses.
ARTPOP will be released on November 11. (iTunes)
