LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (New York, NY) — GRAMMY Award-winning chanteuse, eos Lip Balm spokeslegend and assumed direct genetic descendent of Gautama Buddha, Legendtina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera, reigns supreme for V Magazine today.
In what The New York Times is now declaring as “more culturally important than that ancient Demi Moore photo shoot” and GQ breathlessly hails as “lol u can c her boobs,” the Bionic beauty has decided to make a bold, beautiful and very nude statement for a photo editorial called I Think You’ve Already Seen My Nipples…PregnanSAY!
Snapped by photographer Brian Bowen Smith, the Stripped siren desnudated to supply various jaw-dropping looks for the shoot, said to be inspired by the iconic album art for Lotus.
“As true lovers of music, it must be such an absolute honor for V to be shooting with me,” the Lotus legend remarked in an Excluusive phone interview with the LNN, in between bites of a chocolate-dipped Red Hot Kinda Churro, a new addition to the Skinnytina Maternity nutrition line.
“Oh, it was just an extraordinary shoot,” the photographer told us afterward, “except for this one small incident. Our intern put on that new Jessie J song with Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj, and when Legendtina asked what song was playing, he told her it was ‘The newer, better ‘Lady Marmalade.’ She asked him to follow her into the bathroom, and we haven’t been able to find him ever since.”
And what of the shot featuring a cameo by fan/fiancee (fanancee), Matt Rutler? “Oh yes, him. That one was inspired by one of my more demure moments,” she revealed. “And even though we made sweet love all night. I need sex for breakfast, feels so right…,” she moaned cooing the entirety of her Bionic early morning intercourse anthem without even being prompted.
When asked if her sensual white dress was a piece of lingerie from close personal friend and Las Vegas part-time entertainer Britney Spears‘ upcoming intimates collection, she paused for a moment.
“Oh, is that what she’s doing?” Goduilera asked. “For me, as an artist, I’ve come to realize that clothing only restricts my creative flow. Fashion is a lifestyle. You have to live it, you have to love it…and then you have to wear none of it. HA! I’m glad to hear that my dear friend is trying her hand at something more glam, but for me, I prefer to draw inspiration straight from my lotus.”
With an album and a baby girl on the way, it’s clear that Legendtina is about to make the world move once again.