Brace yourselves, because your girl (forever) is back.

Queen Paula Abdul hasn’t properly released new music since she dropped her version of Kylie Minogue‘s unreleased Body Language smash demo in 2009, “I’m Just Here For The Music.” And, of course, there was her Randy Jackson-assisted comeback banga one year prior, “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow.”

But she’s returned this week, with the help of Avon, in the form of an empowering pop anthem dedicated to breast cancer awareness. And…it’s kind of everything?

In order to keep the ladies of the world educated, Dr. Paula’s taken the kind of medical rambling you’d expect to hear from your general practitioner (also, terms like “lumps and bumps”) and distilled it into catchy advice set to a sparkly, cheese-filled ’80’s electro-pop throb that more or less renders Katy Perry‘s “This Is How We Do” irrelevant.

But it’s really all about the video, which features bold, empowering text like “BOLD” and “EMPOWERMENT,” female and male (why?) dancers and cute shared moments with her sister, a cancer survivor herself, Wendy.

Also, this happens:

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Put your hand on your heart and tell me…

Also this:

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Boobography: A nod to Janet, surely.

And some of this:

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Paula as Hindu Goddess, because why not.

“Check Yourself” is not, like, a ‘real’ song by any means, but hey: The choreography is tight, Paula is looking super hot and, of course, it’s all meant for a very important cause. So…Paula wins.

And while we’re on the subject of this underrated diva: Two years ago, the seasoned superstar brought a fucking incredible career retrospective (called the “Dream Medley”) to Dancing With The Stars. Basically no one saw it, but it’s absolutely imperative that you do.