Rihanna is being such a complete and utter #unapologeticbitch right now, spending her days slicing bread and taking #bored selfies rather than throwing us a Navy-sized life raft to rescue us from drowning in a deep, dark sea of basics this year.
But! She did have enough time, and a rare amount of available #phucks, to take out of her busy schedule to meet with her main crush: Michael Bolton (err, #michealbolton).
Last night, Bolton WhoSay’ed (what) a photo: “LUV this artist. Can’t wait to sing together,” he captioned the incredibly grainy, had-to-be-taken-on-an-ancient-Blackberry shot. And lo and behold, there was our beloved Illuminati high priestess, looking like a smitten pop diva in a snapback.
But here’s the real question: What are they singing together?
And, more importantly, is it going to lead to a full-on duet project together, a la Inventor Of Jazz Mademoiselle Gagaloo and Mr. Tony “Who Is This Crazy Lady With The Funny Wigs” Bennett?
Furthermore, should this entirely dreamed-up duets album be called #PhuckToPhuck or A$$ To A$$? Because either would be acceptable.
And if so, will it consist of Bolton’s most beloved classics made more RiRi-friendly, like “When A Man Loves A Phucking Heaux”?
We await the end result of this collaboration with bated breath — and zero phucks.
