NAVY ALERT: Robyn “Rihanna” Fenty is officially on Snapchat.
Having successfully participated in the Great Illuminati Revolution with her Satanic blood-pledge for TIDAL, the Instagram Empress is making yet another historic move across social media — this time on Madge‘s favorite nude-swaping transient photo service, Snapchat.
Her Snapchat username is “rihanna” — although it really ought to be something more like “bitchbettahavemysnapz.”
In tonight’s SnapStory, RiRi looks visibly confused and quite bothered, serving supreme stank face while being filmed by her BFF. She then smokes a blunt while listening to Drake‘s “Know Yourself,” and then boards a private jet. No part of this series of events is even remotely a surprise.
“FourFiveSeconds” just took on a whole new meaning, because that’s about how long you have to enjoy these priceless blessings from The Phuckless One before they’re gone forever.
This is truly a blessing, and easily the most important media event of 2015. Here’s hoping she plays the entirety of #R8 for us while getting turnt one evening. (It’s more than possible.)
And if the Spearit moves you, you can add me too at “muumuse.” Snapping you the D real soon, Rih!