Even though B9 is far from ready (we’ll just have to wait and see), The Legendary Miss Britney Spears sure has done a lot of B-Girl promo in the past few months — and she’s coming back looking delicious.
Not only did Brit decide to casually bless the unworthy red carpets of several award shows this summer, including the ESPY Awards, the Teen Choice Awards (supplying us with the perfect reaction to foolishness and fuckery) and the MTV Video Music Awards, but she recently announced that she’ll be making a cameo on Jane The Virgin.
Oh, and Piece Of Me? She’ll officially be there for two more years — and there’s even talk of a set list switch-up. (“BORN TO MAKE YOU HAPPY,” FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND DECENT IN THIS WORLD.)
But, wait! Surprise, bitch: B decided to get back (REFERENCE) on your TV screens…tonight.
And either she’s been drinking an elixir of youth — tell us what you’re sippin’ on, B! — or it’s just that Mermaidney hair working its magic yet again, because she’s serving straight up ’03/’04 In The Zone energy all over again, goofing around like a total goober (but, like, a sexy MILFney goober) and having her fun (yeah) with Neil Patrick Harris, Joe “DNCE” Jonas, and a few unsuspecting bodyguards. This might as well be a deleted scene from her episode of MTV Diary or Punk’d. I’d believe it.
The test didn’t end in the vanilla candle-filled room, however: She took the fellas to the stage of Piece Of Me (#BuyPieceOfMeTickets) to test out their ability to protect her bo-deh at all times, serving up some fierce footwork and Spearitual armography while doing so.
Amazing moments include:
– “You’re not…gonna kiss my hand?” (ACTRESSNEY.)
– “Hi! It’s Britney, bitch.”
– The musical chairs “going rogue” moment.
– “NAW, NAW, I’M NOT SAFE! Now I’m safe.”
And of course…
Queen of Comedy. Queen of Improv. Queen of Acting. See you at the 2016 Emmys, B.