Look: not much is sparking joy in pop culture these days.
Mercifully, there’s just been a glitch in the simulation. And in a move that can only be described as the stuff of MuuMuse fan-fiction come to life, Lindsay Lohan and Dannii Minogue will soon be co-workers on the Australian version of The Masked Singer.
To be clear: the I Know Who Killed Me actress-slash-“To Know Your Name” chanteuse and the Queen of Clubs herself, Disco D, will be co-panelists in a reality TV singing competition based on a South Korean format. (The other two are Jackie “O” Henderson and Dave Hughes, but that’s not important right now.)
If you haven’t seen Masked Singer (#MaskForSame only – just a preference), the concept is this: celebrities of varying degrees of fame perform songs in elaborate costumes, as the celebrity-filled panel attempts to guess who they are, week by week. Once eliminated from the singing competition, the star de-masks and reveals their true identity. In South Korea, it’s often past and present members of girl groups and boy bands. In America, it was everyone from T-Pain to Ricki Lake.
Dannii, Lilo, and a six-degrees-of-separation connection to K-pop? The amount of boxes that this ticks for me on a personal level is unquestionably proof that, in spite of everything, there is a higher power at work.
The potential for quality #content to come from this experience is high, to say the least: not only are Down Under versions of popular singing competitions notorious breeding ground for viral moments, like, say, accusations of doppelgangers in our midst, but Lindsay – she of knowing how you throw a party in Mykonos, bitch, of “Move that cone. I’m Lindsay Lohan,” of “I never said that, Paris is my friend,” of well-intentioned-but-misguided Instagram Live rescue missions – is a walking meme (a walka not a talka, specifically), and all but destined to deliver some on-air gems.
And, with new music promised to be on the way (allegedly), we might even get a single or a performance out of the deal in her post-Beach House bid for renewed pop supremacy. (Let us pray.)
As for Dannii? As a seasoned X Factor UK vet, she’ll no doubt be capable of holding down the fort with her own commentary. She’s delivered some GIF magic of her own, and watching her interact with Lindsay will be a fascinating, ambitious crossover event. The Marvel Cinematic Universe wishes.
And, perhaps if the buzz around this show is as big as it was when it premiered in America (two more U.S. seasons have already been ordered), she’ll want to trip the light fantastic with another bout of Neon Nights excellence. Or, perhaps the ladies will come together for a one-off collaboration? Look, a gay can dream…
“Big reveal 🎉🎉🎉🎉 I’m so excited to be joining @lindsaylohan @jackieo_official and @dhughesy on the @themaskedsingerau panel. I ❤️ the US version of this show. Get your guessing shoes on Australia – you’re going to be OBSESSED!!!” Dannii wrote on her Instagram on Sunday (July 14), which was quickly flooded with not one, but two heart emoji-filled comments from Lilo, who, in Lilo style, already revised her own announcement post, which now solely contains the show’s handle. For now.
At the very least, this will give me an excuse to recirculate ancient listicles and thinkpieces about the brilliance of their musical output.
Tell me, am I dreaming? (REFERENCE.) Take us out, ladies…