Legendtina Promises to Rise Like A Phoenixtina On New Album

BOW THE FUCK DOWN.

The promotion for Legendtina‘s grand return to the throne has begun.

Prompted by the news of Godney‘s upcoming musical arrival in 2012, the Mi Reflejo chanteuse and Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards 2000 nominee for Favorite New Artist took a moment away from furiously throwing vases at assistants to speak to a few unworthy journalists.

From the Associated Press:

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Christina Aguilera is comparing her upcoming album to a “rebirth.”

With more than a decade in the music business behind her, the album will be a culmination of “everything I’ve experienced up until this point,” the 31-year-old pop star said in a recent interview.

“I’ve been through a lot since the release of my last album, being on (‘The Voice’), having had a divorce,” she said. “This is all sort of a free rebirth for me.”

A REBIRTH. Like a great Bird of Prey, the Empress of Severe Lipstick will once again outstretch her Elastic Love feathers and take off into the night, screeching to the tune of “Prima Donna” and feeding on lessers under the cover of darkness.

But that’s not all! Our Lady of Woohoo had even more words to describe her upcoming redemptive record, which insiders now tell me is called Will.i.am Is Gay And Britney is Basic:

“I’m embracing many different things, but it’s all feel-good,” she said of the album’s material, including tracks that are “superexpressive” and fun, with moments that are “supervulnerable.”

Superexpressive. Supervulnerable. We are getting Stripped realness.

And although Nicole Scherzinger someone already leaked a rough cut of the demo for “Your Body” on the interwebz last week, Legendtina will not be deterred as she prepares for the release of her comeback track.

In fact, the article answered the one question that’s kept us all up at night: Legendtina will take to the stage of The Voice on September 17 (hopefully wearing studded diapers again) to debut her single.

Prepare your body now…because Legendtina is about to FUCK IT.

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