Keeping It English

In case anyone else is interested in various British affairs, here are the list of the nominees for the 2008 Brit Awards. Oh, if only the Grammy lists were like this. And hell to the yes for Girls Aloud finally getting some well-deserved recognition. Pop’s dying, people. Resuscitation is found only in the form of golden statues and awkward speeches. Anyway, get on with it and read the list, remembering to boo and hiss when needed. Additionally, just in case you thought this list was to be posted without bias, I’ve taken the liberty of providing catty commentary regarding the possible winners within each category.

British male solo artist: Jamie T, Mark Ronson, Mika, Newton Faulkner, Richard Hawley.

I’ll go with Mika, because he is a homosexual and sometimes I feel like we have to work together to beat the system. Also, I know none of the other candidates besides Mark Ronson, who is genius but should probably be more responsible for producing music than performing it (Reading this, Timbaland?)

British female solo artist: Bat For Lashes, Kate Nash, KT Tunstall, Leona Lewis, PJ Harvey.

This is difficult, but I believe Bat For Lashes will take this because of her whole “Björk-ish” vibe. My personal favorite from the list is Kate Nash, however. Leona, I appreciate the Mariah-vival, but I can do without.

British group: Arctic Monkeys, Editors, Girls Aloud, Kaiser Chiefs, Take That.

Uh, duh. Girls Aloud. Artic Monkeys are wonderful at times, but I can’t go and disrespect my ladies. Besides…Cheryl really wants one, she said.

British album: Arctic Monkeys – Favourite Worst Nightmare, Leona Lewis – Spirit, Mark Ronson – Version, Mika – Life In Cartoon Motion, Take That – Beautiful World.

Tricky, tricky…I’ll have to say Arctic Monkeys will take it, but perhaps Leona, but maybe Mika. Oh, and Take That had a massive little comeback, didn’t they? Unless the judges get all strange and decide that Mark Ronson’s is the most well rounded what with the collaborations and all. And there’s my hard-set opinion on the matter.

British breakthrough act: Bat For Lashes, Kate Nash, Klaxons, Leona Lewis, Mika. (Winner chosen by BBC Radio 1 listeners)

Kate Nash. Screw you all.

British live act: Arctic Monkeys, Kaiser Chiefs, Klaxons, Muse, Take That. (Winner chosen by BBC Radio 2 listeners)

Arctic Monkeys. Based entirely on the performance two years ago by the Sugababes of “I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor,” which wasn’t on their latest album. That’s all I’ll have to say about that. Unless Muse takes it.

British single: Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love, Mika – Grace Kelly, Take That – Shine, Kaiser Chiefs – Ruby, Sugababes – About You Now, Mark Ronson Ft Amy Winehouse – Valerie, Kate Nash – Foundations, The Hoosiers – Worried About Ray, James Blunt – 1973, Mutya Buena – Real Girl. (A live public vote will decide the winner on the night)

Oh, fuck me. I mean, Leona kind of ate the U.K. with Bleeding Love, which is bleeding onto the entire world shortly. Although songs in falsetto such as Grace Kelly tend to stay in the voter’s mind well after they’ve chosen not to listen to the song anymore. Foundations is brilliant, but I can’t say that it can win over these powerhouses. Sugababes and Winehouse, I’m sorry, but your hearts weren’t into it. I wonder if Mutya feels a bit strange to be recognized along with her ex-bandmates. I hope they get grouped together for a blissfully tense nominee photo.

International male solo artist: Bruce Springsteen, Kanye West, Michael Buble, Rufus Wainwright, Timbaland.

Ummm, give a black man a chance. And by that, I mean Kanye. He’s said it himself. So let’s give it to him. That, and the others don’t really stand a chance when sales are compared. Although Rufus’ CD is pretty lovely.

International female solo artist: Alicia Keys, Björk, Feist, Kylie Minogue, Rihanna.

What are you trying to do to me? You can’t just go ahead and place Björk and Kylie in the same competition and expect me to simply accept that sort of analysis?? I can’t decide. If I had to, I would go with Kylie, because her CD delivered more than Björk’s did. I’m sorry. Oh, but as for the actual winner? Probably Feist or Rihanna. Bitches.

International group: Arcade Fire, Eagles, Foo Fighters, Kings of Leon, White Stripes.

Care level decreasing. I’ll go with White Stripes because they make him out to be so damn epic, and they make her out to be improving with each album. I haven’t heard any of their work, and so I am 100% confident in my decision.

International album: Arcade Fire – Neon Bible, Eagles – Long Road Out Of Eden, Foo Fighters – Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace, Kings of Leon – Because Of The Times, Kylie Minogue – X.

Eesh. I’m actually more confident in a Kylie win for this one. What a strange bunch to pit against each other. Eagles may take it because they secretly crept up and stole the #1 chart position (for which I will never forgive them) from Britney back in October. I’ll go with my love and blindly believe in Kylie. Because I believe in you, I believe in, I believe in you, I believe in…you.

Interview with Temposhark

Interview with Temposhark

Read on for my exclusive interview with Rob Diament from U



Zac Efron, who some believe to be the reincarnation of the baby Jesus, was

You May Also Like