Welcome back, Muusers. I’ve returned with a slew of nothing, wrapped up and presented as something wonderful!

+ For starters, I present an official remix of Goldfrapp‘s trip-tastic “Happiness”, created by Metronomy and featuring The Teenagers! It’s all shades of disjointed, and inspires some general confusion…I don’t like it. Anyway, you can download it below.

+ According to compiled reports, Majustimbalake‘s “4 Minutes” will be treated to a buttload of remixed formats, including mixes by Tracey Young and, my personal favorite, Junkie XL. Additionally, the song is now impacting all radio stations around the world, so do yourselves a favor and request it. Yeah, it’s not that great, but…you know. It’s Madonna, etc. etc. And you know the public will eat up the Timbaland production.

+ Félicitations to my favorite fivesome of skinny-britch-wearing bitches this side of the 1990’s, Girls Aloud, for securing yet another top ten charter with “Can’t Speak French”! This makes their eighteenth consecutive top ten hit since their debut! Est un jour fier.

+ I got a big package in the mail today–Utada‘s new album, spiffied up with a giant glossy poster of her face!! It was a wonderful surprise that I completely expected to arrive today. Expect an official album review tonight for the already deemed perfect new album, Heart Station.

+ And don’t forget to watch Britney on How I Met Your Mother on CBS at 8:30 in the P.M. tonight. Your body will thank you for it.

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DL: Goldfrapp – Happiness (Metronomy Remix ft. The Teenagers)