On Thursday (two days ago), I heard a few rumblings and rumors across the blogosphere about a possible surprise appearance by Kylie Minogue at Splash Nightclub in New York City. It made sense, given that she was already in town for the amFAR Gala this week. So, after a few choice e-mails, her appearance was quietly confirmed and I found myself headed into the city in a last minute dash out the door late on Friday night.

Photo courtesy of HardCandyMusic.

After quickly meeting up with my blog buddy, Camille (of HardCandyMusic), we headed to the club at around 11:30.

And now, a brief side note: Splash was insane. I’d never been before, and I don’t know if it was just because of the night we chose to come (I hear it’s more reserved at other times), but it was like witnessing Queer as Folk‘s Babylon on E. No, really. I saw a butt within the first fifteen seconds of walking into the doors.

There was weird, amateur hardcore porn playing on the walls featuring actors wearing clown face make-up while lovely sentiments such as “FUCK FAGGOTS” flashed on top of the action. Everyone was making out, or groping, or something more. I got groped a dozen or more times. I’m no prude, but this was a full-on meat locker; a stewing cesspool of lust and creepers.

But it was no matter. Camille and I, along with a few of her friends, squeezed by to the stage area to begin standing our ground almost an hour before Kylie was expected to make her appearance. While we waited, we bopped around to the semi-decent music (there was La Roux and Whitney Houston) and excitedly chitchatted/yelled in each other’s ears about what we thought she’d do when she made her grand entrance.

As we waited, the crowd grew and continued to gather behind us. The heat that floated around the stage area was thick, sticky and heavy; a nearly tangible cloud of sweat and heavy breathing. I truly don’t ever remember sweating so much in my life. Literally, I was covered from head to toe. From me, from neighbors…at some point, I stopped being able to discern whether it was sweat or a flood of drinks were being poured on me from above. I like to think it’s the latter.

At around 1 A.M., security began escorting everyone off from the stage and sweeping out the bottles and glasses from the floor. The muscled-up go-go boys, previously whirling around poles with dollars stuffed in their trunks, were now lining the stage wearing their best pairs of tight briefs. I turned to Camille and mouthed “Oh my God, she’s really here.” I literally couldn’t believe it. She was here.

And then, as the house music swelled, the shrieks of a dozen or more gays stole our attention to the right side of the stage. There was Kylie fucking Minogue, walking up the stairs being guided right up to the stage, wearing a glittery silver dress and standing no more than a foot or two away from me. The crowd completely lost it (or at least I did–absolute shit show.)

After greeting the crowd with a lot of giggling and smiles, Kylie began introducing her new single, “All the Lovers,” which soon started to play above. The results were incredible: Despite the fact that we’ve only had the song for a little under a month, the entire crowd fired back with a loud, deafening sing-a-long. The power of Kylie.

For the record, Kylie Minogue is without flaw in person, and I’m proud to say that I can confirm this fact from one foot away. Her face is angelic, her smile infectious, and her body language? Utterly electric.

As she sashayed up and down the stage, she giggled gleefully and fanned herself often, dropping lots of nods and flirty winks into the adoring glitterati below. This was the definition of Kylie’s turf, and anyone could she she was gobbling up the moment.

Returning from the DJ booth after “All The Lovers,” we all expected that she would wish us a good night and head off. That is, until she turned right back around and announced a massive surprise–a mega-mix of her new album, Aphrodite.

Our mouths (or at least mine) dropped. This was the first time anyone outside of the press would be hearing songs from the new record. And just as quickly as before, the music swelled in and Kylie kicked off with an incredible first stomper from the record, “Get Outta My Way.” It was an insanely catchy, Light Years-esque number, and the chorus reminded me of the way she sings “get out of my way” in “Spinning Around.” Incredible.

During the song, Kylie reached across the banister and began holding hands with most of the front row for a few short seconds. And yes, dear Muusers…I held hands with Kylie Minogue. Well, her fingers. BUT WE WERE CONNECTED IN SPIRIT (See the one minute mark above.) During those fleeting few seconds, visions of glitter drenched ponies and dancing lollipops clouded my vision. So that’s what it’s like inside Kylie Minogue’s world, I realized.

Later on, Kylie requested a water bottle with a quick fanning hand motion to her publicist. After dousing her neck a bit (and doing an extra sexy shimmy), the disco diva took a few quick swells and proceeded to soak the first few rows with the rest of the water. I was absolutely drenched in Kylie water. It was truly the holiest of baptisms.

Photo courtesy of HardCandyMusic.

More songs from the record followed, including “Cupid Boy,” “Aphrodite,” “Put Your Hands Up,” “Can’t Beat the Feeling,” and “Too Much” (we think, anyway). I cannot gush enough how incredible these songs sounded. The album sounds like it’s shaping up to be hit after hit, like “Love at First Sight” on repeat. The songs were all lush, anthem-worthy disco melodies nearly destined to become classics in the annals of pop. I believe it’s safe to say: Stuart Price, you’ve done it again.

At the very end of the mix, as the go-go boys behind her began wringing out their soaked (and rather see-through) tighty whities, Kylie gave us a last wink before one final tease: “I’ll be back very, very soon.” A hint at a new tour, perhaps? God, I hope so.

And to think, we weren’t even expecting her to perform. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go shake the glitter out of my hair.

All photos courtesy of Camille of HardCandyMusic, except for the first photo, which is my own.

Many, many thanks to Camille for videotaping the entire performance in the videos above (as well as the pictures!) Had an absolute blast…Thank you so much for everything! It was a pleasure flying KM Air with you. Xo