Uncategorized

A Frame-by-Frame Commentary on Madonna’s Video for “Give Me All Your Luvin (feat. M.I.A. and Nicki Minaj)

You probably weren’t aware of this, but Madonna has a new song and video out called “Give Me All Your Luvin (feat. M.I.A. and Nicki Minaj.)”

It’s really one of the best things you’ll see all day (if not all month, if not all year, if not ever in your life), so I’ve decided to break it down into small segments of flawlessness to get a better understanding of the inner workings of this stunning Megaforce-directed production.

And away we go…

Or less warm. Will someone open the door? I’m going to die. JUST GIVE ME A FAN!

The power of Madonna.

“Thriller”?!

Just kidding. Rosemary’s Baby.

I AGREE!

Did you know? $25,000.

Shooting the sequel to W.E., tentatively titled W.E.E.

“No thanks, gold is for poor people.”

“To the Kabbalah Centre, please…”

My body is ready.

Nothing to see here.

Fuckable. I would. (No I wouldn’t.)

BUT I WOULD CONSIDER IT AT LEAST. (No I wouldn’t.)

My thoughts exactly.

CUTIEZ!1!!!1!

TRACKING SHOT ALERT: SERIOUS ART AHEAD.

Surprise cameo by Lady Gaga!

Surprise cameo by me!

Lourdes is growing up so quickly. She has her mother’s eyes.

Brahim is here for this.

Kylie too?!

Brick shithouse.

“Eh heh. I, uh…”

Assinine.

Who farted?

Sorry ’bout it.

Reductive.

A sneak peek at the video treatment for MDNA‘s “Gang Bang.”

The power of Madonna.

Yes, we’re all very impressed.

Sorry, no flaws to be found here.

“What do you mean Gwyneth hasn’t RSVPed to David’s bar mitzvah yet?”

Amazing.

Amazinger.

Amazingest.

A rare glimpse into Madonna’s charity work in Malawi.

Well, I’ll say.

In conclusion: All stanning and fuckery aside, I seriously L-U-V this video.

The video’s winning walk-talk-and-wall-crawl formula–a little bit of Bj√∂rk‘s “It’s Oh So Quiet (Thanks Alex H!), a little bit of Kylie’s “Come Into My World–perfectly captures the fun and rebellious spirit of Madonna’s music.

“Give Me All Your Luvin” a stunning victory, and one of the Queen’s most incredible videos in years: It’s self-aware, thoroughly modern, cheeky, sarcastic, glamorous and entirely camp all at the same time–as only The Material Girl could provide.

Welcome back, Fundonna.

“Give Me All Your Luvin” was released on February 3. (iTunes)