Jennifer Lopez: “Dance Again” (Single Review)

Legendary mamacita, Nicki Minaj side-eye shade thrower, and thoroughly free of all flaw Queen J. Lo just called in to On Air with Ryan Seacrest to premiere her brand new RedOne-produced dance floor banga, “Dance Again,” which will either be the lead single from her upcoming eighth studio album or from a greatest hits collection. She don’t know yet!

(Translation: If this one’s a smash, she’s going with a new album.)

Despite her jam-packed schedule working behind the judge’s booth on American Idol, it appears as though Jenny’s got a whole lot of other things she’d like to be doing with her time as well.

Her grueling to-do list, in no particular order:

1.) Dance.

2.) Love.

3.) Dance Again.

The blazin’ hot track also features professional bulge Pitbull, who offers insightful commentary throughout regarding the one subject closest to his heart: His global reach. “Is he really worldwide? Uh, yes!” Mr. Worldwide decides aloud. Finally, the debate is over!

Also of note: The beat from Pitbull’s verse is lifted directly from Nightcrawlers‘ 1992 House smash “Push The Feeling On,” which Pitbull already sampled (in a different section of the song) for 2009’s “Hotel Room Service.” From this, we can deduce two things: 1.) Pitbull really fucking loves “Push The Feeling On” and 2.) We’re now entering the seventh circle of Reductive Hell.

Now, look: Is “Dance Again” sonically identical to “On The Floor,” “Papi,” and every other uptempo banga on Lopez’s quite amazing seventh studio album, LOVE? Oh, yes. Does Kat Deluna reserve the right to remain thoroughly pressed about the fact that Jenny is quite literally snatching song after song from her Belgium-only album, Inside Out? Indeed!

But you know what? It’s Jennifer Lopez! She can be as reductively derivatively generic as she likes, and I’m still going to go H.A.M. for whatever she’s serving. When the DJ bumps some Jenny up in the club, I lose my mind, my clothes, and whatever tiny shred of dignity that’s been hanging by a string from my bedazzled jock strap for the duration of the night.

Therefore, I do declare “Dance Again” a smash!

VIVA LA J. LO!

“Dance Again” will be released on April 2. (iTunes)

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