I’m back! Apologies for the lack of updates–I was busy briefly having a life on vacation in LA, but fear not! That’s all over and done with, so we’re back in business. Apparently the pop world does go on when I’m not around, so I’ve got to cover some ground…

First up: Cheryl‘s debut TV performance of her Calvin Harris-produced smash, “Call My Name”!

On Saturday night, Chezza made her grand entrance onto the stage of The Voice UK on top of a platform, suited in a bright pink/neon/animal print vest. Quickly, she began sashaying to the edge of the platform and–

OHMYGODSWANDIVE.

What?! YES. Queen Chezza, in all her leopard boots and neon harem pants glory, thrust herself from the platform into the well-sculpted arms of her beefy dancers below like a Graceful. Fucking. SWAN. Perfect execution! Now we’re flying babe with no fear, indeed! (IT’S A REFERENCE.)

Tell me: When will your faves? Or better yet: When will your fave swans? Answer: Never.

From that point on, the performance was very much the same as the dance sequence in the video, including much leg swingin’ and hip twerkin’, with a heaping helping of side shufflin’ and crisscrossin’ to boot. Cheryl looked absolutely gorgeous, but to be fair, noting that Cheryl Cole looks good is like pointing out that the ocean feels wet.

The performance itself was mostly free of flaw, apart from one detail: Unlike the best parts of her two other high profile performances–X Factor 2009’s “Fight For This Love” and X Factor 2010’s “Promise This”–there was no amazing remix breakdown, which was slightly disappointing. Also, the routine is slightly less fierce than her prior two lead singles.

Still, there was a SWAN DIVE. Does anything else matter?

“Call My Name” will be released on June 10. (Pre-Order on iTunes UK)