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Kylie Minogue Unleashes “Timebomb” Upon the World

BOOM.

We’ve seen, heard and loved all the various iterations of Kylie Minogue: Dance Kylie, Cute Kylie, Sex Kylie, Indie Kylie.

Now, it’s time to meet a brand new persona: Bad Bitch Kylie.

Imagine, if you will, that the smiley Kylie strolling down the crazed streets in “Come Into My World” decided to do a bit of damage herself: Welcome to “Timebomb,” the pop icon’s brand new K25 surprise released just in time for her 44th birthday on Monday.

Directed by Christian Larson–who directed Swedish House Mafia‘s “One” and had a hand in Britney‘s “Hold It Against Me” (!)–the ridiculously amazing clip sees our darling Kylie go from goddess to bad ass for this new era (or perhaps just this song), sauntering down the streets of Soho in a moto jacket, swiping cell phones and smacking into boombox-toting hotties. Sahree y’all…Kylie just went and ran out of fucks to give!

And she doesn’t stop there either, hitting the sweat-soaked club straight out of Black Swan, flirting cross-car in a high speed drive, running down alleys (in heels!) and making out with strangers. KYLIE! What’s gotten into you lately?! (And where do I get some?)

By the end, KM’s feeling positively frisky, getting down on the back of a motorcycle and bump ‘n’ grindin’ up against a wall. Honestly, is there anything sexier than Queen Kylie bend-and-snapping in that unbelievable, barely-there black number? What a complete bombshell! (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?)

And as for the song itself? Oh, right! It’s fantastic! Compared to the shimmering, ethereal production of the Stuart Price-produced Aphrodite, “Timebomb” comes equipped with a much grittier electro pulse that feels very X-era, reminiscent of “Speakerphone” and “Cherry Bomb.” That makes sense too, given that the track was co-penned by the incredible Karen Poole, who had a hand in both of those songs off of X. (Also, the intro beat reminds me of Girls Aloud‘s “Love Bomb”! Let’s cha, cha, cha!)

Although it may require a few listens to properly light the fuse (ARE YOU SEEING WHAT I CONTINUE TO DO?), “Timebomb” is a ferocious pop smash. It’s very signature Kylie too, between the breathy whispers and coos and that “WHOOP!” in the chorus, which is thoroughly amazing/everything/the best part of the entire song, really. Also, that purred bridge? “Wait…no, please don’t make me wait.” Chills!

What can I say? Kylie Minogue is physically incapable of letting us down. I love everything about this. No pop star makes me smile quite like Kylie! (Aside from Britney, but as I always say, let’s not bring religion into this.)

The K25 celebration continues! Now turn the speakers up and watch Kylie get down with her bad self! VIVA LA KYLIE!

“It’s not the end of the world, it’s just the start of me and you…”

“Timebomb” was released on May 25. (iTunes)