In the downtime between the Providence and Greensboro X Factor auditions, Britney, Jason and the little munchkins decided to hop a plane and go on a little getaway to Hawaii for the week. (Whether or not she plans to re-stage the entire Crazy 2K Tour performances from the Live And More! DVD at Waikiki Beach is still to be determined.)
Earlier today, Our Queen tweeted a photo of herself and the kids getting ready to go swimming and…oh my GODNEY, y’all.
Either she’s been doing a whole lot of Twister Dance or all that walking to the judge’s table at the X Factor auditions is actually a serious workout, because our Queen’s body is on another LEVEL. Tan, toned and sexy–hay, Slaveney abs!–and a mommy of two in that purple bikini? Please, call me when your faves could!
Secondly: A new leak has blessed us! Much like when Heidi Montag entered the studio and flawlessly defecated all over Britney’s demo of “Dramatic” a few years ago, X Factor reject and former duet partner Don Philip somehow dug up the 2010 demo “Pleasure You” (or “Say What”) from the vaults, slathered it down with his embarrassing attempt at purring like Brit Brit, and unceremoniously served it up on a SoundCloud platter to a chorus of “No1curr! Leak the original, douche!” from her fans.
The result? Well, if you close your eyes again love the hurt away (REFERENCE!), you can hear some signature sensual seduction from Godney above a slinky, slow-tripping beat. It’s a pretty rough demo, and I’m not entirely sure the song would have gone anywhere even after mastering, but who’s going to deny themselves some unreleased Godney? “You’re the reason I live/ And all that I have to give is all I ever wanna do/Is whatever pleasures you,” B croons on the chorus. My personal favorite bit is actually the intro, with that repeated “Yeah, yeah…” over the spacey electro beat. Very hot. Very spark…and it’s like gasoline.
But really though–how did Don Philip’s voice become so flop-tastic? “I Will Still Love You” is genuinely amazing! Evidently a “No” from Britney during X Factor is actually a “No” on his entire career, because…just no.
Leak aside, it’s nice to see B so happy with the family! Looks like she’s having fun. So if you happen to be in Hawaii, please be sure to make your way to the nearest body of water and submerge yourselves for a Britism (that’s a Britney baptism), as that water’s likely been blessed by the Spearit.
Happy Independence Day, y’all!