Tomorrow marks a truly historic day in American history.
It’s a day in which we will all come together to decide–as a democracy–how to advance as a society. The decision will seal our fate as a nation and forever impact future generations: I’m referring, of course, to the decision to buy Ciara‘s
second third latest One Woman Army single, “Got Me Good,” on iTunes.
There’s been plenty of heated debate over the past few weeks regarding “Got Me Good”: The term “legitimate slay” has been thrown around loosely. Chart statistics have been skewed in either direction. Some wigs have been snatched, while others remain tightly fastened.
But before you decide whether or not to purchase the single–it’s your prerogative, as a certain Spearitual warrior once sang–let us consider the facts one final time in favor of electing to go pro-CiCi.
1.) “Got Me Good” was produced by Darkchild. Darkchild was mysteriously sitting in a studio with Godney somewhere a few weeks ago. If you don’t support this song, you don’t support Godney’s career. And if you don’t support Godney’s career, you are a terrorist. Or a pressed Little Monster.
2.) “Got Me Good” features Miami bass/freestyle beats. Freestyle music is objectively amazing. There is a scientific study published about this. Somewhere. I think.
3.) “Got Me Good” includes complaints, such as “My back is aching” and “My bra too tight.” This is very similar to Robyn‘s “Don’t Fucking Tell Me What To Do,” except not really.
4.) The song’s current ranking on the Twerkability In Troubled Times Yearly Report (TITTY Report) rests at a solid “Twerktastic.”
5.) The video is AMAZING, and was directed by Joseph Kahn–he of “Toxic” and “Womanizer” fame. (And also “Poison” fame, but we all try to forget.) If you don’t support this video, you don’t support the videography of Godney, and are therefore a terrorist. Or a pressed Little Monster.
6.) “Got Me Good” was filmed in a windy desert, which means Ciara got sand in her eye at least once. That probably hurt, but she went on it for the love of the craft.
7.) Ciara remains the best dancer in the game.
8.) The dance moves are HOT FIYA. In fact, Ciara was quite literally burning up during the making of this video.
9.) A group of tweens from America’s Best Dance Crew called 8 Flavahz also danced in the video. If you don’t support this song and video, you hate children. And the art of dance.
10.) FOR GOD’S SAKE, CAN’T WE JUST LET CIARA BE GREAT FOR ONCE.
And now, let us listen to the song and watch the video for “Got Me Good” last time–and remember, your decision can change the fate of the entire One Woman Army era–and our country. May God have mercy on us all.
“Got Me Good” will be released on November 6. (iTunes)