You know when it’s 2 in the morning and you’re home alone because no one invited you out which is just, like, whatever, so you decide to order a pizza for yourself while watching Crossroads and you’re all like, “Oh hi, I’d like a large cheese pizza with bacon, please,” because bacon is delicious and everything?
And then the pizza man/pizza lady/pizza person of non-specific gender is like “Well, sure! And you know what? Since they’re such popular toppings, we’re going to throw in pineapple, buffalo chicken, artichoke hearts and sardines too!”
And you’re like “I mean, thanks, but that’s not what I ordered. I’m only in it for the bacon. Surely I won’t even be able to taste the bacon underneath all that mess.”
And they’re like “Great! So your total is: BRING THE ACTION.”
Welcome to the reality that is will.i.am and The Holy Spearit‘s newly announced, entirely undesired “Scream & Shout” remix, featuring Hit-Boy, Waka Flocka Flame, Diddy and Lil Wayne, coming soon to a radio station near you.
This isn’t the first time B’s been joined by her many close rapper friends, of course–SHAWWWTY, WE FINNA GO TO THE CLUB AND GET CRUNK WITH BRITNEY, HAYYYYY—but it is the first time she’s done it on a song she’s only on for about 10 seconds.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m really not souped (REFERENCE): I love me some Urbanney, obviously. And yes, it’s great that Britney’s about to get even more exposure up in the club (the straight ones, that is), but what kind of damn mess is this going to sound like with so many features on one track with so little B? I want more Spearituality–not less!
The only thing that’ll salvage this circle jerk of egomaniacs is if we’re getting new vocals from Godney “I don’t listen to rap music” Spears. But if the “Till The World Ends” remix is any indication of her further participation on the track (“T-t-this is the remix“), I’m not exactly holding my breath.
I’m not mad about anything.
YOU ARE NOW, NOW ROCKIN’ WITH WILL.I.AM AND DIDDY AND LIL WAYNE AND WAKA FLOCKA FLAME AND HIT-BOY AND BRITNEY, BITCH.
GIF via RealityTVGIFs.
EDIT: It’s here and, lo and behold, it’s garbage.